Tag Archives: my husband

My Writing Space: A List of Seven Things

Café Writing January (Fresh!): Seven Things

Give me seven things that inhabit or occupy your writing space. Interpret “writing space” any way you please. You’re not required to explain the items in your list, but it’s more fun for readers if you do.

Note: I’m interpreting “writing space” as I please…

1.       Freestyle

Right stroke, left stroke, right stroke, *breathe*.
— stroke,  — stroke,  — stroke, *breathe*.
str–k,  str–k,   str–k,  *breathe*.
—,     —,      —,      **.
**    **     **    **.

My mind empties once the rhythm sets. 30 minutes. No baby, no crying, no chores, no distraction. My body floats on the water. My arms propel it forward. I think. And then I write. And then I rewrite. And then I breathe again. And again. And again.

2.       My 16-month-old
3.       Lined paper
4.       A ballpoint pen

When my son laughs and looks to me, I smile at him, too. And when he turns back to his cars, I uncover my notepad. Arrows try to direct the chaos, seeking order in the midst of my crossed-out cursive. What am I trying to say? I click my pen and watch him play.

5.       A binkie
6.       My laptop

My son attempts escape from my arms: he knows naptime. And in his crib, he stands, crying and reaching for me, a traitor who removes him from his toys every afternoon. Then I hand him a binkie: his body slumps down into a position of sleep and he rubs his closing eyes. Now he’s silent. I slip out of his room and hurry to my laptop, ready to disorganize the chaos in my mind.

7.       My husband

I hear the cab driving away before I hear him. Then I hear the front door. I close my laptop and greet my husband, the inspiration for what life and love can be.

FICTION: Will We Ever Leave?

True response to 3WW: Change, Dizzy, Key

We’d been awake since 4 repacking the bags and fitting them in the trunk. It was 9 a.m., and my friend had just arrived to drive us to the airport. My growing headache at the thought of the next 24 hours of travel was already starting to make me dizzy and the baby was calling for attention, but he was buckled in the car seat and we were almost ready to go.

I was impressed. We were physically ready but the flight was not going to leave for four hours yet. With one hour to drive to the airport, we were doing well. This was a change: a year earlier, pre-baby, we’d be rushing out the door at the last possible minute, arriving at the airport just barely in time to get through security.

“Okay,” I said to my husband. “Are we ready?”

He pushed the inside door lock and let the door swing shut.

“Yeah, just about.”

“Did you turn off the kitchen light?”

“I think I forgot,” he turned to re-enter the house. The door was locked. “Oops.”

He went to the trunk and started rummaging around, moving the carefully arranged duffle bags.

“Don’t worry about it,” I said a moment later, “as long as the house is locked, we’re okay. We can leave the light on. Let’s just get to the airport now.”

He kept searching in the trunk.

“I could come and turn it off for you later, if you want,” my friend offered.

“No, it’s not that,” he said, standing up again with a sheepish grin. “It’s my carry-on bag. It’s in the house with the key.”

FICTION Writer’s Island: The Return

I shift my son from my left hip to my right, and he whines and squirms for escape. The diaper bag over my shoulder slips to my elbow and I stop to reposition it.

My husband stops beside me, reaching for the bag, his wheeled bag toppling.

“You got it?”

I nod but hand him the diaper bag, again repositioning the eight-month-old rock squirming in my arms.

My son smiles and reaches for his daddy, but I pull him close to me. We walk. Up the escalator and we’ll be there, here, done, finished, back again, finally returned.

What I Will Miss

One sunny 50-degree winter day last July, I walked to the supermarket. I was 7 months pregnant and brand-new to the country. Outside of the supermarket fly six Australian flags. As I walked by the first of the flags, the flags flapped in a light breeze. I looked up to see a beautiful, blue-sky backdrop for the Australian flag. I decided then that I was home, and I loved it.

Today I walked up to the supermarket again, as I have many times in the past months. It is now fall, and I crunched leaves as I walked down the street, pushing my almost eight-month-old in the stroller. As I walked under the flags, I felt a sense of sadness: I’m leaving.

What I will miss: Being 10 minutes from the temple.

The temple is open for about four sessions a day Wednesday through Saturday, and it is such a lovely, friendly temple. Saturday morning at 9:25, I decided to go to a session. I made the 10 a.m. session (I don’t like to rush to get ready; it just worked out well this week). I will miss being so close.

What I will miss: Being a short drive from mountains and empty fields and little traffic.

Sunday afternoon we went for a drive. We didn’t go anywhere in particular: we just drove. Because we live where we do, we could drive for 10 minutes and be away from traffic, among fields with cattle grazing. It is so lovely here. I will miss the scenery of Australia.

What I will miss: My husband walking to and from the train station every day.

My husband comes home every night. When we return to the USA, he’ll go back to flying to his work Monday and returning home Thursday. We’re obviously looking at other options; I’ve been spoiled by his presence this year. I will really miss being so close to a train line, with his job on the end of it.

Sigh. Still no departure date, but it is certainly going to happen.

Two Years

I meant to post this yesterday, but didn’t get the chance. It’s written as if it still were May 20. Since it’s still May 20 in the USA, I guess I can still count it.

Two years ago, my 100-day engagement drew to a close. May 20, 2006 was such a perfect day for me: I had a pleasant breakfast with friends and family, a lovely wedding, and a perfect reception. It was the perfect beginning to our perfect marriage.

Don’t get me wrong: we’re not perfect. And life has its regular ups and downs. But I very happy now, two years later. I am looking forward to the next 48 years! I’ve decided we’re going to live to celebrate 50 years together. My husband tells me that it isn’t very long and I’m going to be very surprised when we actually are celebrating 50 years. We’ll see.

We celebrated by getting our temple recommends renewed. How wonderful that we can be worthy to enter that glorious building!

I am so grateful for my husband, who already believes I’m the woman I some day hope to be.

The Great Big Vegetable Challenge and What’s Your Vegetable?

I have never liked vegetables. I don’t know why. Maybe I relied too much on bagged iceberg lettuce and ranch dressing in my college days and I got tired of it. I like fruit, however, and always enjoy fresh fruit. I have a sweet tooth, and the natural sweetness of fruit is my favorite.

My husband, on the other hand, prefers vegetables. If I set dinner on the table and I have forgotten the vegetable (which happens more often than I should admit), my husband will ask “Where are the vegetables?” and he’ll prepare something.

I could go a long time and not eat green.

But last night, the meal I was making just wouldn’t work. When my husband got home, the kitchen was still dinnerless. (He got home after eight so it’s kind of sad I hadn’t worked something out by then. I was starved.) He said, “Why don’t we just eat these greens?” I had a bag of rocket (known in the USA as arugula) in the fridge. Surprisingly, none of it was wilted (they usually don’t have very good greens here). I consented. But when my husband put the greens on our two plates, there were two huge piles. I tasted some. It wasn’t very good. (And then I had rocket breath — ha ha.)

“I can’t eat that much!” I protested. There’s nothing like a salad for someone who doesn’t like vegetables to begin with.

My husband wasn’t convinced. He pulled things out the fridge for our salads.

“Cut up the leftover steaks,” he began.

I cut up the steak and added it to the salad. Then, at his suggestion, I added olives, sun-dried tomatoes, and shaved Parmesan cheese.

In the meantime, he sliced some red onions, cooked them in balsamic vinegar, and piled them on our salads. He added mustard and olive oil to the remaining balsamic, whisked it into an emulsified sauce, and heated it with some black currant jam. (He’s so good!) He poured that over the salads.

He says that the dressing was too sweet, too much. I don’t know what to say, other than I ate every last piece of green on my plate: it was delicious!

I admit: I left some of the olives. I’ve never like olives. I ate most of them because I’ve been inspired by some food bloggers at The Great Big Vegetable Challenge in London. Here’s their story: Freddie, age seven, did not like vegetables. To cure him of his vegetable-phobia, his family is eating their way through an alphabet of vegetables, getting recipes from around the world and rating each vegetable recipe 1 to 10 (10 is best) on their blog. I think that if Freddie doesn’t like a vegetable in the end, he doesn’t have to eat it, but here’s the catch: he has to try it prepared in at least two different ways. Sometimes it’s the recipe that isn’t good. It seems to me that he’s always rating things from 6 to 10. That’s inspiring.

I can see how different preparations can make a difference: I don’t think I would have liked our rocket salad last night if I’d tried to eat it with Italian dressing and tomatoes, which is what I would have done. I would have eaten a few forkfuls before being disgusted and bored with the greens and going for desert. But the combination of the black currant balsamic dressing, the steak, and the other “goodies” made it very tasty. I was too full to eat ice cream.

I’m going to take the Great Big Vegetable Challenge in my approach to food: if I don’t like a food, that’s OK, but I have to try it a few different ways before I claim I don’t like it.

I’ve eaten mushrooms a number of ways (both raw and cooked), and I still don’t like them. Find me a “good” mushroom or a good mushroom recipe and I’ll try again.

So far, olives are OK, but not my favorite. My husband says we need to find “good” olives and then maybe I’ll like them more. I love a good olive oil — I’d even eat it by the spoonful — so if I could find an olive that tastes that fruity, maybe I could say I love them too.

On the average night, I simply prepare frozen vegetables for dinner. My default vegetable is broccoli: salt, pepper, butter, broccoli … mmm. My husband will always default to peas: “They are like little explosions of taste in your mouth!”

Note that I don’t consider potatoes a vegetable: I consider them a starch. (We have potatoes in some form every night.)

What’s your favorite vegetable?

Reflections on “A Spoon Full of Sugar” and “Just 30 Minutes”

For every job that must be done
There is an element of fun
You find the fun and snap!
The job’s a game.

I’ve been listening to Disney music lately. One thing I bought in the States is a five-disc Disney song Classics collection. I’ve enjoyed the retreat to childhood as I revisit favorite songs and introduce my infant son to “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” and “When You Wish upon a Star” and dozens of others.

Another thing we brought back from the States is a Swiffer and a hundred dry Swiffer rags. This was a gift from my mother-in-law, who believed me when I said that a Swiffer was all I wanted (I couldn’t find them here!). Despite Swiffer’s claim otherwise, you really can’t throw away the broom and the mop — the dry Swiffer doesn’t catch three-dimensional things and the wet Swiffer doesn’t do a great job at kitchen messes — but overall, the Swiffer is a great floor-cleaning tool: it catches the dust and hairs and dirt that just don’t get caught without it. I feel efficient when I’m Swiffering (yes, I believe that is a verb now), and I don’t have to try to catch the mess in a dustpan as I use it.

As I was Swiffering our huge hardwood floor the other morning, I started humming “A Spoon Full of Sugar.” I realized that something as simple as a tool I liked made the task less annoying. Cleaning the floor wasn’t as much of a bother because I felt like I was being efficient. The Swiffer was my “spoonful of sugar” that helped the medicine of cleaning “go down.”

Later, I was telling my husband about a silly website I visited.

“I know I have better things to do,” I said.”But it was fun. Besides, it was just a half-hour, if that.”

He looked at me. “Just a half-hour? How many half-hours do you get every day?”

He wasn’t accusatory at all — I imagine he really doesn’t care what I do. It’s my time. But I realized that this question was coming from a man who had a limited number of “free” half-hours every day. Many of his half-hours are filled with work responsibilities.

How many half-hours do I get every day? And what do I do with all of them?

Yesterday I began a testing process. Here was the test: what can I do in a half an hour? Here’s a list of the chores I can do in half an hour:

  • Shower, dress, and do my hair and makeup (unless I iron my clothes)
  • Clean three bathrooms (at 10 minutes each)
  • Starch and iron 1½ shirts (at 20 minutes each — I’m really slow. My husband usually irons his own shirts, but I really should iron for him, given how many more “free” half-hours I get each day. Maybe I’ll get faster as I do this more often.)
  • Swiffer and sweep, thoroughly, the hardwood floors (lots downstairs, some upstairs)
  • Vacuum the carpeting (three rooms and two large rugs)
  • Dust the bookcases, shelves, and ceiling corners of the house using a Swiffer duster
  • Wash the dishes in the sink (by hand) and wipe down the counters and the microwave
  • Make a quick dinner

Some things take half that time:

  • Feed my son
  • Eat breakfast
  • Eat lunch
  • Fold and put away a load of laundry and start the next load
  • Unload the dishwasher and load it again
  • Wipe the kitchen counters and table and set the table for dinner
  • Tidy the living room (by actually putting things away, not just hiding them)
  • Swiffer, quickly, the hardwood floors

Some things take twice as long:

  • Make a longer dinner (you can’t rush risotto)
  • Get groceries at the supermarket and unload them and put them away

Obviously, some things can’t be done when my son is demanding my attention. (When he wants attention, then I can do some of the fun half-hours: cuddle him close to me, read Winnie-the-Pooh to him, sing a few primary songs, get on the floor and play with his toys.) And how do I vacuum when he’s napping without waking him? But when I put these things in half-hour increments, I don’t feel wrong asking him to entertain himself here and there through the day. Letting him play by himself for 30 minutes while I shower and get ready every morning can’t kill him. Also, he was happy to watch me wash dishes and wipe down kitchen counters because I was talking with him and singing to him as I did it.

As I tested how much of each chore I could get done in a half hour, I felt an urgency to hurry and get it done. It was almost like a game.

The end results were the biggest bonuses. I felt so much better about myself when my hair was done and my makeup was on. I felt a sense of glee when I found that folding and putting away an entire load of laundry took half as long as I thought it would. I felt a sense of satisfaction when I looked at the living room, free of unnecessary clutter, and knew that everything was put away where it was “supposed” to be. I felt very good as I set a well-balanced meal in front of my husband at the end of his long work day.

Those 30 minutes I spent visiting a “who does your son look like?” webpage seemed like “just a half-hour.” It went fast. I think I’ll try to think of chores as “just a half-hour” and maybe that will make them go faster.

Even with the challenge of “how long does it take?”, I don’t think these chores are fun, and it isn’t really a “game” to do them. But I think the satisfaction of having a clean, put-together home is a great reward.

Home Again

Before I left Australia for our visit to the United States, I was telling my friends that I was I finally going home.

Then we spent 19 days living out of suitcases, living in other peoples’ houses, and driving other peoples’ cars. We enjoyed overwhelming hospitality and we had a lovely time visiting with family. But now, 20 days later, I can honestly say that I am finally home.

Home is no longer where my parents live — it’s where my family lives. And my family is now my husband and child.

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. (Genesis 2:24)

I am so glad for this aspect of Heavenly Father’s plan, for I truly feel that my husband and I are one.

That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us — that they may be one, even as we are one. (John 17:21-22)

I realize that the Savior is speaking of our becoming one with the Father. However, I feel myself becoming unified with my husband in a similar manner. I understand how the Father and the Son are one, even though they are two beings: my husband and I have become one, even though we are two people. I understand how the Father wants our relationship with Him to be. United in purpose: One.

Moving across the world and having a child brought me closer to my husband. I found that traveling for 19 days also did. And now we are home again. Home. United: One.