Category Archives: Testimony

Saturday Morning Conference WOW

We just returned home from a road trip to Palmyra, New York, and Kirtland, Ohio. I felt so strongly the testimony I have that Joseph Smith was called to be a prophet.

I also finished reading the newly published book The Saints, which is about the early history of the church. And then I just tuned in to the first session of general conference. I was struck by how quickly the Spirit confirmed to me that President Russell M. Nelson is the prophet for this day and age.

The new change right off the bat is that our church meetings are going to be shorter….two hours instead of the 3-hour block. My mind and heart is so full right now. So hard to think through all that is swirling through my mind.

I’ve been so overcome this week by the changing roles of motherhood throughout the history of the church. I’m talking about this new dispensation as started by Joseph Smith. I’m also feeling I should take notes on what I hear so that I can process all my thoughts.

Elder Rasband focuses on overcoming fear in this day and age and our need to stand in Holy Places. Perfect love casteth out all fear. This day is full of temptations and discouragement. His message is perfectly timely because as I listened to President Nelson’s encouragement to  make our home a place of gospel learning. I felt a twinge of fear. All the difficult things the early Saints faced came right after amazing revelations about God and spiritual blessings. Right now there is such an outpouring of blessings and inspiration coming to us.

What will happen in the next years? To prepare for the coming of the Savior? Our society is going to get more and more difficult. Can I keep the spirit in my home? Can I teach my kids what they need to learn?

“You must!” realized Elder Spencer W. Kimball when he worried upon his call to the Council of the Twelve. He had to rely on the Lord for the strength he needed to be worthy and qualified. We need to do the same. I can’t let fear get the best of me.

Elder Bednar brings up ropes, just as I did in my lesson last month. Even ordinary materials can be made strong when combined. His reminder is that our Sunday meeting schedule is not shortened….it’s rearranging our time so we can better make the Sabbath a delight. We need to work on converting our hearts in our homes.

Checklists for our Sabbath may distract us from yielding our hearts unto God. Focus on what is most important. Focus on the Savior. We need to become a unified, complete whole. For example, fourth Article of Faith shows how all things are combined in one for Christ.  All of the revelations of the last 40 years are comprehensive to make a stronger homes and conversion to the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is all one great world-wide work.

President Dallin H. Oaks counsels us to not listen to popular stars to get our information when we conduct a search. “Priestcraft” may be found from the wrong sources. Use qualified sources that are free from selfish motivations. Use spiritual resources when searching for truth. Secular teachings can be self-inflicted spiritual blindness. Scientific truth is not all of life. Consider spiritual truth, by study and by faith. Don’t put your souls at risk.

He reminds us that restored gospel truths should be considered carefully. Reread the Proclamation to the World on the Family. God has given us His plan. The family is ordained of God. Mortal life is safe to us.

So why all this? I don’t think our generation really is any better than those in Joseph’s day. His work and the line by line learning they experienced from New York to Ohio to Missouri to Illinois to Utah was what they needed. I read the revelations from the Doctrine and Covenants and I know that they were not any more privileged to revelation than we are. Our prophet is just as amazingly in tuned to revelation in our day.

So if these revelations are just as significant as those Joseph and Sidney Rigdon had (in Sec 76 for example), then WOW. That was teaching doctrine. This is showing us what we need to do to live the doctrine.

So much to think about.

 

Paul’s Christmas Primary Talk

Paul’s assignment was “Jesus Christ is the Son of God.” He told me what to write and I wrote it verbatim. Then he read it. (Yes, he actually read my sloppy cursive/print combo writing.) He didn’t want to change anything. He had to draw a few pictures himself because he knew just what he wanted and did not find the picture he liked! I found his picture of the king sitting on his throne telling people to pay taxes to be amusing.


I was proud to hear my son bear his testimony to his primary peers yesterday!

P.S. Yes, there are Nauvoo pictures and videos to show. But with Christmas decorating, working on making Christmas presents, getting sick again, and a failed computer hard drive and the necessary re-install and recovery, it’s been a busy few weeks.

A Family Trip to Palmyra

We’ve been wanting to do something special as a family. With the Memorial Day weekend, we especially searched for the right thing. Ryan felt inspired to take our family on a trip to Kirtland and Palmyra so off we went on Thursday afternoon.We came back Monday.

It was a whirlwind of a trip. Paul and Caroline did great on the way East but I’m sure no one would be surprised to learn that the long drive back Sunday night and Monday was long. Caroline spent most of the trip through Ohio, Indiana, and Illinois on Monday screaming because she was mad to still be in the car. We took lots of breaks and she still was pretty mad. I didn’t put her in the carseat again until Wednesday afternoon but as soon as I did she started screaming again! I think she’s calmed down for now, because she’s been okay since then. Paul did well but got pretty tired of that car!

Our visit in Kirtland and Palmyra was a perfect amount of time. Paul was very excited to see the Sacred Grove. The week before we went, he told everyone. (This provided some interesting missionary moments for me. How great that a family vacation lets me explain to people what Mormonism is, and why we find it so important that the heaven are open to prophets in this era, just as in the past!)

Paul did tire of the old houses and lengthy sister missionary tours, so we did not see everything in Kirtland or Palmyra. We did see the Kirtland Temple with a Community of Christ tour and the N.K. Whitney store and house in Kirtland, and in Palmyra we saw Joseph Smith’s log home, the frame house, the Sacred Grove, the Grandin print building where The Book of Mormon was first published, and the Hill Cumorah statue. (I dropped my camera at the Hill Cumorah, breaking the lens, so the only pictures we have from that are those Paul took.)

The trip was just what we needed to create memories as a family. I think Paul now has a frame of reference. Although not everything will remain memorable, I suspect he will not forget that he has seen where Joseph Smith prayed.

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Here are some of the pictures Paul took. He played with the camera as we drove, so he had tons of pictures of Caroline (who was right next to him). My favorite is the ultimate bored look in the second picture of my baby.

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Christmas Activities

One of my New Year’s Resolutions is to update this page with family pictures in the same month in which the activities took place, starting with Christmas 2011. I especially want to be better since I posted 50+ pictures a month of newborn Paul and I want Caroline to feel she’s just as special a newborn.

I intended to post these pictures the last week of December. And yet, here I am well in to the new year, waiting for Paul to go to preschool to do so.

IMG_2334 At any rate, Christmas was wonderful this year. I baked cookies and fudge to enjoy for a month and to give away to neighbors. Paul was incredibly excited to countdown until Christmas and he enjoyed the activities we did.

Before Christmas, I was able to attend Paul’s preschool holiday party. I haven’t attended any of his parties before so it was fun to be there to help and take pictures, etc. This was a rather chaotic party; I wonder if preschool is always like this? At any rate, they had some carnival games, a few craft projects, and then a gym floor covered in bath sponges that were called “snowballs.” They were encouraged to have a snowball fight. Put 20 kids aged 3 and 4 in a room and tell them to have a snowball fight? Um… Paul reacted much as I would have. He threw a “snowball,” then watched people for a while. Then threw another. It was a bit intense.

Here are some of the best pictures of my little guy. The full album of the preschool is on flickr with a guest pass.

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Reindeer bowling


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He's proud he knocked some bowling pins down.

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We are low-key about presents (I do not want to raise a spoiled or greedy child who says “I want that!” for every toy he sees). I gave him a (plastic) kids microscope, books (which is what he asked for), and an inflatable globe, among some other smaller things. Grandpa Sorenson gave us a book of silly stories that he wrote and Grandma gave him a Thomas the Tank Engine puzzle. Grandma Peggy sent Trio blocks, which along with our Legos, have given me lots of time as Paul slips downstairs to create yet something else. (YES!)

We enjoyed the true spirit of Christmas. At the beginning of the month, he loved selecting some clothes for a “poor boy” from the library’s giving tree and talked for days about the boy who was too poor to get his own clothes. (He was particularly excited because the boy was FOUR just like he is so he knew just what the boy would like.) He loved selecting gifts for his cousins (we do a family gift rotation among my siblings). He loved the excitement of wrapped presents and waiting for them. I don’t think he was tempted to open them, he just loved shaking them and counting them and wondering. He was fascinated by the mystery of magical Santa (although *cough* the reindeer forgot to eat the reindeer food that Paul left on the front step. How’d I know he’d check that FIRST?! even before looking under the tree?).

And most importantly, Christmas was, for our family, about the true meaning of the season, the birth of our Savior. I love having Christmas on Sunday, because then church reinforced the real meaning of the season. I wish we had services every Christmas morning, but of course, that’s not how it works.

The not-so-materialistic goals we have worked well this year: we got to church at 10:30 and someone asked him what he got for Christmas.

“Ugh….I forgot.” he responded. (But he did remember to say that the reindeer forgot to eat the reindeer food he left for them…). So, at any rate, I know Christmas for Paul was not about the presents. Mission accomplished!

We also got to spend the afternoon with Grandma and Grandpa and Paul’s Sorenson cousins. It was lots of fun to watch the kids playing, and it was great to gather with family on a special day.

After Church Christmas Day

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31 weeks pregnant

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Cousins
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Grandpa Reading The Grinch
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Merry Christmas!

Reflections

  • In Paul’s primary talk, he said, “Jesus rose for us.” He then, in a different context, saw the  picture of the Risen Lord appearing to Mary and said, “Look, Mommy! Jesus rose-ing!”
  • Normally during Sacrament Meeting, Paul sings “mah blah blah mah!” as loudly as he can in time with the music, as he or I points to the words on the page. Today, the speaker introduced the song, “Behold, the Great Redeemer Die!” Paul sang along with the correct words for the first two lines. I was amazed: he knows that song. I know that is because we go to church every Sunday.
  • Regularly, Paul stops playing to say, “Mommy, I say unto you, I love you!” This is how I know he really does hear the scripture study we do together, even though it seems he’s not paying attention.
  • Paul is regularly teaching me a lesson in humility and generosity, from his sharing his fruit snacks to his outpouring of love. From his example, I better understand the Savior’s injunction to be as a little child. I’m to approach life with sincerity, to love and give without thoughts of “scarcity” and selfishness, and to be honest in my thoughts, words and deeds. (Although I should mention that Paul has learned to lie, he is still for the most part a very truthful, loving, sensitive child.)

Paul’s First Primary Talk

The subject Paul was given for his talk was “Jesus Christ is my Savior and Redeemer.” We got our favorite pictures of Jesus from the gospel art kit, Mommy put it in order, and to help herself, she wrote the words of Paul’s talk on a paper on the back. To her surprise, Paul was reading the words on the back. Here is Paul’s talk for Sunday.

We watched this video together and Paul said, “Mommy, I want to follow Jesus.” Yes, dear. I do too!

Eminent Women Redux

Remember how last year when I went to Nauvoo I was a model for a painter? He was painting the eminent men and women who appeared to President Woodruff in the St. George Temple. I became incredibly interested in this event, and although I haven’t thought of it every day, the event is something I have recalled a few times in the past months.

This week I was reading the poetry of Anne Bradstreet. I wrote about Anne Bradstreet today on my reading blog. Anne Bradstreet was a Puritan, a dedicated wife, and a free-thinker, as she balanced being a mother to eight with being a pioneer in a 1630s New England settlement and a talented poet in her own right.

“I am obnoxious to each carping tongue
Who says my hand a needle better fits.” (“The Prologue” stanza 5)

Yet, given the fact that she was a woman of faith, a Puritan woman at that, she also has numerous poems about faith. Just like you and me, she struggled to come to peace with her life struggles and her faith in the beyond. Take this sample from a poem she wrote just after her house burned down.

There’s wealth enough; I need no more.
Farewell, my pelf; farewell, my store.
The world no longer let me love;
My hope and Treasure lies above. (“Verses on the Burning of My House”)

Or maybe these thoughts of faith as she suffered from insomnia one night:

By night when others soundly slept
And hath at once both ease and Rest,
My waking eyes were open kept
And so to lie I found it best.

I sought him whom my Soul did Love,
With tears I sought him earnestly.
He bow’d his ear down from Above.
In vain I did not seek or cry.

My hungry Soul he fill’d with Good;
He in his Bottle put my tears,
My smarting wounds washt in his blood,
And banisht thence my Doubts and fears.

What to my Saviour shall I give
Who freely hath done this for me?
I’ll serve him here whilst I shall live
And Loue him to Eternity. (“By Night While Other’s Slept”)

At any rate, as I read her struggles of faith, I felt the same things I felt when I have been doing family history. I felt she was right next to me as I read her poems of faith. I felt that the veil was incredibly thin. And I had a distinct impression that she was one of those eminent women who appeared to Wilford Woodruff.

I looked on all the sites I looked on last time. I could not find Anne Dudley or Anne Bradstreet on any of the lists. So I looked her up in New Family Search. I found that her baptisms were done in September 1879 in the St. George Temple. It was two years and a half after the eminent men and women appeared to Wilford Woodruff. Maybe she was not one of those who appeared on that day in 1877, but somehow her name got put in the system at the same time. (Those were the first baptisms for the dead performed in a temple, as the St. George Temple was the first operating temple.)

Bradstreet’s poems show that she already believed the gospel two hundred years before it was restored. Such good poetry. Read it at Anne Bradstreet.com.

What are you reading for National Poetry Month?

By the way, can you tell which face is based on mine in Bedard’s image? I don’t know for sure, of course, but there’s one that I think looks rather like me. The painting is almost done and so beautiful! See here.

Guess What Song Paul Is Learning in Primary?

As he was eating breakfast the other day, Paul stopped mid bite and said, “Mom! I know who I am!”

I congratulated him. Then a few bites later. “Mom! I know God’s plan!”

Aw, how sweet!

He also told me “I know who you are, too. You are my Mommy. I know that because I love you.”

He also has been closing his prayers “In the name of Jesus Christ of latter-day Saints.” Combined with his recent confusion as to who to pray to, his prayers have been a bit confused lately.

 

2011 Goal Number 2: Do Family History Work

I was walking the dirty and crowded back streets of Greater Manchester, England, in the summer of 1885, searching for them. Then I remembered their address, and asked a passerby for directions. I was a strange sight in my modern day clothes, but I hadn’t had time to prepare for my journey: I didn’t know I would be time traveling, after all.

As I approached the small cellar, I saw two men approaching, and I knew it was James (senior) and his brother Martin. James was a bit wary of me, but when I’d explained that I was his descendant, come to visit from 2011, he was willing to answer my questions. I asked him question after question, and I’m sorry to say that I cannot at this time remember what I asked, let alone the answers he gave me! Just one question I remember: why hadn’t he gone yet to New York looking for Margaret? She was his wife, after all!

As I tried to find my way out of the time warp, Margaret Ann and her father were starting to pack their bags. They said it would take a few weeks to get enough cash together, but they were ready to go to New York and find Margaret. They realized they’d waited too long.

The streets got darker as I stumbled along in the maze, and suddenly I was awake, Paul asking me for help with something this worldly.

It was just a dream. Upon waking, I knew immediately that I’d had some of the details wrong. James and his children did not live in the cellar at Back Acton Street: that was the address of Thomas Simmons and his family during the 1851 and 1861 censuses. What was his address in 1881? I should look it up for the next time.

Remember how I claimed that this year I’d make New Year’s Resolutions after I’ve accomplished something? I’ve been meaning to tell you about my resolution number 2, but every time I sit down to write about it, I get distracted on Ancestry.com or some other site. Tonight I’m determined to get it down for your sakes.

Saturday, January 1, 2011, my Grandma, Helen Ruth Wilson Benac, peacefully passed away. I shared some thoughts in January on my reading blog about the power of reading her personal history.

What I didn’t mention on that blog was that on Sunday, the day after her passing, I began to feel like I was supposed to be doing family history work. “I don’t know how to do that!”I told myself, shrugging it off.

I had tried for a few weeks when Paul was newborn, and I never seemed to have enough time to get into the groove before he’d need my attention again. In Australia, I had nearby access to a family history center, but I still didn’t make much progress. I had heard about James Simon and his wife Margaret’s mysterious disappearance, and I was fascinated by it. But I decided that there was a season for everything, and family history work was for those who had more time than I did.

This January, after Grandma’s passing, the urge to revisit James and Margaret’s story persisted for weeks. I kept thinking about Grandma, and I kept thinking about Margaret’s story. Finally, in the middle of January, on a Tuesday morning after I left my son at preschool, I stopped by the local family history center and said, “What do I do first?”

The librarian showed me how to correct errors on New Family Search, how to add information I’ve found, and how to start discussions. I left the Family History library praying that somehow I’d find Margaret’s mother, because I was certain the two of them wanted to be found. After just one hour of studying Margaret’s name and her mother’s blank line, I felt a spiritual bond with them.

I called my mom to say how excited I was about the progress, and a few days later, my brother Frank sent me an email saying he was working on these same people and maybe we should collaborate. Suddenly, there are three of us working on finding this family extensively.

It has been delightful, time consuming, exhausting, frustrating, exciting, boring, and over everything else successful.

Thanks to our combined research (and some funding from Mom and an ancestry subscription from Frank!) we’ve discovered Margaret Shield’s mother: Ann Dunlope. (See Margaret’s birth certificate). We’ve found so many more than just Ann, because we didn’t know much about these people. We have more than 20 new names to take to the temple for baptisms or marriages. Just a quick rundown: Margaret’s father is Patrick and she has two younger brothers (and a sister we knew about). James comes from a family of not three children but ten, and we have names for at least five of them, plus his parents (although their work is almost done!). We know when James and his family came to England from Ireland, and we may have found that James was actually born in England after their arrival. We’ve found that Margaret may have been married before she married James, that what we thought was the oldest child may have been from another marriage, and that our ancestor Margaret Ann (who was born to Margaret and James) was born a year before the two of them were married. In fact, Margaret may have been a bigamist, a thought that makes me, a reader of Victorian literature, rather excited to discover just what really happens at the end of this real-life family novel.

Each answer we get from the English records only opens up another set of questions.

Although my mind has been mainly full of Margaret Sheilds and James Simon and their children and their siblings, as I’ve thought of my open-ended goal to “do family history work” this year, I keep thinking of Ann Dunlop. To me, she is the image of success, for we have found Margaret’s mother. That is what Margaret wanted me to find back in January. As I left the family history center that first day, I felt Margaret’s presence along with her unknown mother’s as they asked me to find her so they could be sealed together.

Date for that sealing to be determined. I keep hoping that we’ll find a few more names this week.

I am the daughter of Ellen Margaret Benac, who is the daughter of Helen Ruth Wilson, who is the daughter of John Wilson, who is the son of Margaret Ann Simon (and Charles Edwin Wilson), who is the daughter of Margaret Shields (and James Simon) who is the daughter of Ann Dunlop and Patrick Shields.

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If you are a part of the family, log in to the New Family Search and you’ll see it for yourself. If any of you, especially those related to James and Margaret, want to be in on our email discussions, please let me know in the comments and I can send you our emails. Sometimes I send five in an evening, just so you know.