Category Archives: Womanhood

Comfort Food

Last week I felt very efficient. I cleaned the whole apartment from top to bottom and cooked dinner every night. Saturday night I made a turkey dinner and we entertained. I felt very good.

This week has been kind of blah. Monday was raining. Tuesday I felt unwell. Wednesday Paul got his first immunizations so he was very unhappy and sore. Thursday I spent the day filling out insurance paperwork. I haven’t been very good at cleaning, and since I didn’t do a big shopping trip on Saturday, I can only cook what I can buy and carry in the stroller, so I’ve done some easy things.

Last night I made Macaroni and Cheese. I think of it as a comfort food because it is so easy to make. I make sure I have a block of cheddar cheese and macaroni in the house so I can make it when I’m in a pinch for a yummy dinner.

I thought I’d share the recipe. (And yes, it is so much better than Kraft.)

Easy Macaroni and Cheese

Ingredients

    500 g (1 lb) macaroni, cooked
    1 cup grated sharp Cheddar cheese
    1 cup bread crumbs
Cheese Sauce Ingredients
    4 Tbsp butter
    4 Tbsp flour
    2 1/2 cups milk, heated
    Salt
    Pepper
    Pinch of cayenne pepper
    1 cup grated sharp Cheddar cheese

Directions

    Prepare cheese sauce as follows: Melt the butter in a heavy-bottomed saucepan. Stir in the flour and cook, stirring constantly, until the paste cooks and bubbles a bit, but don’t let it brown, about 2 minutes. Add the hot milk, continuing to stir as the sauce thickens. Bring it to a boil. Add salt and pepper to taste, lower the heat, and cook, stirring for 2 to 3 minutes more. Stir in 1 cup grated Cheddar cheese during the last 2 minutes of cooking, along with a pinch of cayenne pepper. Remove from heat.

Here’s what I’ve learned in making this dish. First, if I accidentally add too much flour, I’ll have to start over. I’ve made this dish a few times so I guess I was feeling confident at my estimating. But I accidentally put in way too much and I could tell right away it would never blend together. I dumped it out and started again.

Second, if I don’t cook the roux long enough, the sauce will not thicken. I missed that the first time or two. I just had a milky cheese sauce. How do you know when the roux is cooked long enough? I’m still trying to figure it out. My husband says it smells “nutty.” I guess so, but how do you really define that? Last night, I thought I didn’t cook it long enough because the sauce wasn’t thickening. I was going to give it five more minutes and then start over with a new roux. But then it thickened up, so I didn’t have to.

Third, I should have used whole milk! We had some in the fridge, but I didn’t think of it until after I’d added skim milk. Oh well.

Fourth, I should make sure I put in salt and pepper! The first time I omitted them. I think I used to be afraid of putting them in, for any dish. But the more the better — to a certain extent…

    Preheat the oven to 375°F (190 C). Butter a casserole dish. Put the cooked macaroni into the casserole dish, pour the cheese sauce over it, and mix gently with a fork.

Somehow, I didn’t quite have enough sauce last night. If I’d have had time, I’d have made another batch of sauce. It’s good to have very creamy mac and cheese. Instead, we just poured milk over the top of our bowls when we served it.

    Sprinkle the grated cheese evenly over the top and spread the crumbs over the cheese. Bake, uncovered, until the top is golden and the sauce is bubbling, about 30 minutes.

I didn’t measure the cheese or the breadcrumbs. I just put on as much as looked tasty.

And it was tasty! (Yes, even the leftovers are gone already!)

Some Turkey

Everybody knows some turkey and some mistletoe/ Will help to make the season bright. –The Christmas Song

I was feeling a bit left out of the Turkey Day celebrations (since, of course, there was no holiday here). I decided that it was time to do my own Thanksgiving dinner. I invited my friend Michelle and her family for a Saturday, 1 December, Thanksgiving dinner. There were 7 people total. A small gathering, but the largest number I’ve entertained.

I went to order a turkey from the Christmas Made Easy counter on Monday so I can prepare a lovely Turkey Dinner. They won’t provide ordered turkeys until 21 December. They don’t carry turkeys other times of the year.

I finally found a 3.2 kg (7 lb) frozen turkey breast at a supermarket. They seem few and far between. You’d think they’d have big signs advertising them. Is that how it is in the States? Aren’t turkeys just flying off the shelves already?

For those of you preparing to do your own Turkey Dinner this holiday season, here is what an amateur learned her first time around.

  • A turkey breast is a lot smaller and looks a lot easier to manage than an entire turkey. (And, while I never have done an entire turkey, it really was easy to do the turkey breast!)
  • When defrosting turkey in the fridge, don’t put the turkey on the top shelf.
  • When defrosting turkey in the fridge, make sure you put a pan underneath it.
  • If you don’t do the two preceding things, you’ll have to scrub the entire fridge and throw out the fresh fruit that is sitting on the bottom shelf.
  • Brining the turkey breast really isn’t hard.
  • When cooking a turkey in a small oven, make sure the oven shelf is as low as possible. Otherwise, the turkey will be just millimetres from the top broiler and will get all crusty on top.
  • When purchased, the turkey is wrapped with a foam pad. Throw out the foam pad before putting the turkey in the oven. Otherwise, at the end you won’t be able to separate the foam from the turkey drippings and it will be kind of nasty.
  • Make your husband carve the turkey.
  • Don’t have too many dishes: turkey, cranberry sauce and gravy, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and salad is plenty of food. There will be leftovers! (Hmmm, maybe it just wasn’t very good and that’s why it’s left over…)
  • When hurrying to put things away five minutes before company arrives, be careful not to bump the Pyrex liquid measuring cup from the top shelf of the cupboard. Otherwise, it will shatter and glass fragments will end up everywhere and you’ll be in even more of a panic. And you’ll get cuts on your hands.
  • If the pecan pie cooks too long, the crust will fly across the room when you try to cut into it.
  • If the pies don’t taste very good, just put more whipped cream on top. (Note to my family members who will be amazed at that comment: this is not Cool Whip or cream from the can, which I never have liked. This is real whipped cream, which is actually very tasty.)
  • If the pies don’t taste very good, everyone will still eat them because they have lots of sugar in them. Plus, there’s the whipped cream.

That’s what I learned. And, just to clarify, my husband (who is the true cook) had to work all day and didn’t get home until 5 p.m., when I was about to take the turkey out of the oven. (Company came at 6 p.m.) I did it all, except make the gravy and carve the turkey. Yes, I can cook a turkey dinner! Maybe I’m a cook too…

And now I feel like it’s the holidays! Happy Turkey Days to all of you!

Cleaning as Nurturing

I’ve been thinking a lot about the talk by Sister Beck in conference about motherhood. Here’s the part I’ve been dwelling on the last few days:

Another word for nurturing is homemaking. Homemaking includes cooking, washing clothes and dishes, and keeping an orderly home. Home is where women have the most power and influence; therefore, Latter-day Saint women should be the best homemakers in the world. … Nurturing mothers are knowledgeable, but all the education women attain will avail them nothing if they do not have the skill to make a home that creates a climate for spiritual growth. Growth happens best in a “house of order,” and women should pattern their homes after the Lord’s house (see D&C 109). Nurturing requires organization, patience, love, and work.

To nurture, I need to cook, wash clothes and dishes, and keep an orderly home.

Firstly, cooking. As I mentioned yesterday, I’ve recently discovered I love to cook! Cooking no longer feels like a chore, but a delight. I can see how cooking a meal for my family is nurturing them.

Next, washing clothes and dishes. I don’t mind doing laundry and dishes. Once the clothes are clean, then the hampers are empty, and that feels satisfying. I get to do twice as much laundry now with an infant. I really don’t mind doing it. True, I dyed a few of Pauls’ white onesies pink the first week of his life, but since then, there have been no “disasters” and we’ve been clothed well.

As for dishes, one of my first jobs at BYU was a dishwasher in the CougarEat kitchens. It was relaxing. My husband does dishes each night after dinner now anyway because Paul is usually hungry at just the right moment…but really, I don’t mind dishes at all.

Finally, keeping an orderly home. I take this to mean cleaning and not just keeping things organized. I can put things away and avoid piles of “stuff” and wipe down kitchen counters. I can follow a grocery budget and keep my pantry stocked and in order. But my problem right now is cleaning. I find sweeping, mopping, cleaning toilets, scrubbing down showers, vacuuming, and dusting absolutely tedious. Mom suggested I like cooking because it’s a symbol of my love. For some reason, I just can’t think of cleaning in the same way. It just feels tedious.

My dislike of cleaning is not a new problem. As a kid, when Mom gave me my chores on Saturday mornings, I’d sing “It’s a Hard-Knock Life” and grumble about how unfair it was to have to clean. As an adult, my philosophy has always been: if I can see the dust, it’s too late. But after Paul was born, I went a month without touching a broom. As I mentioned before, that was much too long.

The problem is that we have a two-story, three-bedroom, two-and-a-half bath town home with hardwood floors the size of Kentucky. And as I got around to mopping the other day, I saw little ants and a spider’s cobweb.

As Sister Beck said, I need the “skill to make a home that creates a climate for spiritual growth.” Dust and ants hinder that spiritual growth. How can I delight in cleaning as nurturing rather than as a chore? How can I develop the same sense of satisfaction with cleaning that I recently have found with cooking?

Sup-Sup-Suppertime

I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate.—Julia Child

Non-cooks think it’s silly to invest two hours’ work in two minutes’ enjoyment; but if cooking is evanescent, so is the ballet. —Julia Child

Despite my mother’s best intentions, I never really liked or learned to cook while I was in her household.

In college, I avoided cooking and lived on Rice-a-Roni, sugar cookies, and Life cereal for four years. (My roommates can attest to that.) It helped that I often didn’t notice when I was hungry and forgot to eat. When I first got married, I would kind of cook, but not really — just so my stomach was full, I didn’t care what went in it. My husband loves to cook and he’d do the cooking on the weekends. But when he was out of town, I was lucky if I didn’t just get McDonalds. We moved to Australia and suddenly I was not working, I had time and no more excuses. I felt my husband deserved a home-cooked meal each night. I found recipes and began cooking; “at least three times a week” was my goal. It was tedious, but I could do it.

At that point, I felt that if I tried something challenging, I would mess up and it would be a disaster — so why try the hard things? Besides, food will be gone in a few moments. Why put in effort to create something spectacular? As a result, I made “boring” dishes that I didn’t feel too proud of. I felt I needed to apologize before serving it. (I never heard a word of complaint; rather, my husband always said my food was wonderful.)

Then Paul was born. I felt somewhat out of control for a few weeks and I didn’t cook at all. Then, one day (Paul was probably two weeks old), I sat down and found a recipe, I got the ingredients, and I made some yummy food. It was so much fun. Since then, I’ve found that I love cooking! Yes, sometimes I really don’t feel like cooking and we do something easy or my husband cooks. But on most days, I’ve found I love the hour I have every evening to create a feast for my husband. I’m getting pretty good at timing it so it’s ready just as he’s walking in the door. And I love it.

I’ve been cooking any recipe that looks tasty. What’s the result of cooking any recipe? Plenty of “oops” meals, and plenty of learning. Some recipes take a lot of effort. Some work well and others don’t. And the food is gone in minutes or days if we’re lucky (leftovers are a good thing). I know more about technique and flavor pairing than I ever did before. I can critique my finished product and determine what is missing or overpowering in it. I can tweak a recipe as I cook to make it better.

I actually look forward to trying five or six new recipes next week.

I don’t know what changed, but there’s something satisfying I didn’t feel before. It feels great to welcome my husband home from work with a complete feast on the table. Cooking is fun. Sup-sup-suppertime really is the very best time of the day!

Survey Says…

I got a call the other day from a student at Melbourne University. She called me as a follow up to a survey I agreed to participate in when I was in the hospital. They ask me questions while in the hospital, at 4-6 weeks, and at 6 months. Then they compare the answers to determine changing perceptions.

One question was as follows: How would you rate the level of pain you experienced during your labor and delivery, 1 being the worst possible pain and 5 being no pain at all?

I thought a moment and answered 2.

I have reflected since then. Did I say 1 when I was in the hospital?

I am glad I wrote about the childbirth experience right after it happened, because I guess already I’m forgetting how bad it was. The great cuddly moments with my son are mellowing out the memory of labor. How I love being a mother!

My husband and I watched Bill Cosby’s take on natural childbirth the other day. Here it is, in two parts (each is 5-6 minutes long).

Bill Cosby Natural Childbirth Part 1
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFMVeZyhagI]

Bill Cosby Natural Childbirth Part 2
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_w-AG_yF1Uw]

My comments: I really don’t think yelling at my husband would have helped at all! However, I may have yelled at him had he started into a cheer: “Push him out! Shove him out! Waaaaaaaay out!”

Hemming Paul’s First Suit

This morning as my husband was leaving for work, I told him that I planned on hemming the pants of Paul’s new suit today.

“Uh oh,” he said.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, do you know how to hem pants?” he asked.

I told him I could figure it out. I mean, these are infant-sized cuffs! How hard could it be?

It took me an hour and a half. And I don’t think it looks very good. I’m just not very good. I guess that’s why kids start small–I learn on an infant-sized cuff. By the time I get to a toddler-sized cuff, I’m better. That’s a nice thought, but the problem is, I’m not sure I improved. That’s because, to be honest, I really didn’t know what I was doing. My husband was right. I really don’t know how to hem pants. Oh well.

Next time I really should just go to the kiosk at the mall–they hem pants while you wait for just $12. And then I wouldn’t have “ruined” Paul’s nice new suit. I just couldn’t bring myself to ask them to hem such small pants. How silly would I look?

I hope no one thinks Paul looks silly for having a hem that looks amateur.

Does it really matter when he’ll probably outgrow it in two months?

By the way, do you have any idea how hard it is to find a suit or even plain black pants for an infant? They’re very hard to find. But we really wanted him to look sharp. And it is such a cute suit! The pants even have pockets. Does an infant really need two pockets?

Here’s his suit. I still need to take in the vest at the shoulder (it’s too big as well) but I’m scared to mess with it. Especially after my hemming job.

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We’ll try to get pictures with the kid in the suit tomorrow. He’s asleep now. I’m just afraid he’s going to spit up over it before the blessing time on Sunday! I wanted it new for the blessing!

Cleaning Up

I swept and mopped the floor today.

Lest someone think that I have my priorities wrong and remind me that new moms should sleep when baby sleeps, I should clarify that I did take a two-hour nap this morning. And lest someone say being fed and clothed is more important, I should mention that I cooked dinner (leftovers!) and did five loads of laundry yesterday. And lest the grandmas complain, I posted a picture of Paul on the website first. Then I swept the floor.

Don’t be impressed. It has been swept twice since I came home from the hospital. And the first time I cut corners.

The things I learned:

  • A hardwood floor the size of Kentucky needs to swept every day.
  • When I have another child (I suppose I should say “if”, but who am I kidding?), I’m hiring a maid service for a month.

In defense of my husband: He is much cleaner than I am and is very good about chipping in and keeping things clean. However, he took off a week of work when Paul was born. It was just before a major project went live. Now he’s working long hours to make up for taking time off. Besides, I want him to hold his son once he comes home! And he doesn’t get a nap during the day like I do.

In defense of my friends: They offered to clean, but I am not yet willing to ask a friend to clean up my dust. And I wasn’t yet willing to give up my newborn to them so I could clean. I cherished week 2: I held my newborn just about every minute during the day and didn’t have to share him with anyone. I’m very sad that I’ll probably never get to do that again with a newborn bundle of joy.

The bottom line is, I’m starting to feel like I have control of this Being a Mother Thing, so it’s time I take care of the house too. I suppose tomorrow may feel like chaos again. But the messy house is very out of control, and today I’m feeling ready to take charge.

On to vacuuming! Oh wait, Paul’s crying. Maybe later….

Advice

I have a lot to learn about being a mother. The first major lesson I’m learning is to not believe everything I’m told.

I own a few early-days-of-being-a-mother parenting books. In the weeks prior to Paul’s birth, I read just about every parenting book in the Glen Waverley library. I talked with friends in my ward here who have been parents for years. I talked to my own mother. During the 48 hours I was in the hospital with my newborn, each midwife (there were at least 12) imparted her medical opinions about caring for my baby.

I really shouldn’t listen to most of it.

Yes, it really has taken me a month to get to this point.

I’ve decided I’ll do whatever works for my baby. I guess it’s good to read and listen to people, but I’m not going to take anyone seriously. My husband says, “Mother knows best.” I’m not sure I do know what is best, but I’m figuring it out one day at a time.

Advice That Didn’t Help

(and there is so much more!)

  • The most important thing to do is feed your baby. If you don’t, he will end up on IVs in a children’s nursery.

This came from a midwife at the hospital 36 hours after Paul’s birth. I was already panicked about trying to figure out breastfeeding and her pressure for me to figure it out before I left the hospital did not help. They actually told me I could not leave the hospital until I got him to attach correctly. With my husband’s encouragement, I told them “Actually, I’m leaving now,” and we packed up and left. One midwife was supportive of that (see Advice That Helped below). Without the awful hospital pressure, I figured it out.

  • Never give a newborn a bottle or a pacifier (also called dummy, soother, binkie). Wait until they are at least a month old (preferably 6-8 weeks old), or they will never breastfeed correctly again.

and

  • If you give a newborn a bottle (even of expressed breast milk), you aren’t breastfeeding properly and it will “mess up” your supply.

I panicked on day 13 of Paul’s life because he wouldn’t nurse. I was very worried he wasn’t getting food (see first bullet point as to why this was a huge worry). My husband bought a pump and I gave him a bottle. My husband also bought two pacifiers. Paul loves the pacifiers, has no problems with the bottle, and hasn’t really had any problem nursing since day 16. He figured it out.

  • Your baby will scream if he’s hungry.

Paul doesn’t scream. He sleeps. Eventually, when I offer him the chance to eat, he’ll realize he’s hungry and get mad and anxious to eat. But he usually doesn’t realize he’s hungry before that point.

  • Newborns that are breastfed don’t need to be burped. They don’t get “wind.”

It took me a week (or more) to realize this isn’t true for Paul. If I burp Paul every five minutes, he spits up half as much.

  • Breastfeed babies don’t spit up very often.

I read this on a website about breastfeeding. They must not have met my son!

  • You’re baby isn’t like an adult. He knows when he’s full and stops eating.

I have no proof of this, but I really think Paul will keep eating forever! He does not refuse to eat, even if he’s been eating for an hour. He’ll spit up every thing he eats after a certain point, but still he usually won’t refuse if I offer. (Sometimes he does fall asleep, though.)

  • Don’t use any kind of cleanser in the baby’s bath. Just use warm water.

I’m not convinced that that would really clean me, let alone my spit-up covered child. I’m not sure why so many people told me this. We avoid soap, of course, but what’s wrong with Johnson’s wash?

Advice That Helped

  • You have common sense, and you have nipples. You’ll be fine!

This was the response from one midwife (a cute Chinese grandma lady) at the hospital that didn’t seem worried that I wanted to skip the joint, despite not having “figured out” breastfeeding by day 2.

A Child of God

The first night I held Paul in my arms, I began to sing him a familiar song as a lullaby:

I am a child of God,
and He has sent me here,
has given me an earthly home,
with parents kind and dear.

As I sang, I was overcome with the meaning of it: I am one of the parents kind and dear. I am the one the song is about. When Paul thinks of this song and his own earthly home and parents, he’ll be thinking of me!

It’s intimidating to realize how much Heavenly Father trusts me–He’s sent one of His precious spirit children to me! My husband points out that He sends His children to all sorts of different homes and families. But I know my role. It’s up to me (and the others in Paul’s life) to fulfill the chorus of the song for Paul:

Lead me, guide me, walk beside me.
Help me find the way.
Teach me all that I must do
To live with Him some day.

I hope and pray I can lead Paul as he deserves to be led–back to the presence of our Heavenly Father!