Category Archives: Deep Thoughts

The Millionaire Next Door

2 Replies

At my mother’s suggestion, I listened to the abridged version (144 minutes) of this book rather than the 18-hour version. In some ways, it still was too long. You get the main idea from the beginning.

Since, like most people, I wouldn’t mind being a millionaire, I found it interesting that those with million-dollar salaries (sports figures, etc.) are rarely millionaires: although they live a “high life,” they have very little “wealth.” In other words, millionaires don’t live the lifestyles we might think we’d want to live if we earned a high income.

The premise of this book is that lifestyle that makes a difference to whether or not one becomes a millionaire (one with lots of wealth), and anyone making $60,000 a year can become a millionaire by adjusting lifestyle.

Here are the common factors that millionaires (those who “successfully build wealth”) share (I’ve merged those that I think relate):

1 and 3: They live well below their means and they believe financial independence is more important than displaying social status.

Obviously, living well below one’s means is easier to do with a high income. But even with a high income, most millionaires function on a well-thought-out budget. Most millionaires also live in a house in an average neighborhood, drive a four-year-old used car, shop at Sears and Penney’s (not Saks Fifth Avenue and Nordstrom) and live unassuming lives. Most millionaires only wear suits they purchased at a discount and eat low-cost food (rather than expensive wine).

2: They allocate their time, energy, and money efficiently, in ways conducive to building wealth.

For example, they do not waste time “playing the stock market” but carefully figure out what they know about and invest in that. Here’s another example that they didn’t give but that I assume: they don’t waste their time and money with the lottery or gambling.

4: Their parents did not provide economic outpatient care (i.e., parents did not provide substantial cash gifts to their children).

Hmmm. No help from parents? Darn.

5: Their adult children are economically self-sufficient.

In other words, they know what they do to live frugally and were able to teach frugality; they’re kids don’t expect to live a high lifestyle, funded by their parents.

6 and 7: They are proficient in targeting market opportunities and they choose the right occupation.

I didn’t actually pay much attention to these sections — it was the end of two hours of listening. But obviously, some occupations have more promise than others (although I think it’s also important that one chooses an occupation that he or she enjoys).

In all, I enjoyed this reminder that a high income and winning the lottery are not guarantees to wealth: slow and steady wins the race. Maybe there is hope for the rest of us!

East of Eden: Good versus Evil

1 Reply

John Steinbeck’s East of Eden has been banned before. I’m not surprised. It deals with attempted fratricide, prostitution, and murder. One character, Cathy, is described as a monster. But as I read it and recognized the obvious references and echoes of Genesis, I was overcome and enlightened. Combining the plot with the incredibly well written descriptions of the characters, the Salinas valley (California), and five decades, this is a novel I want to reread.

I am reminded of Mosiah 3:19.

For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.

When Adam and Eve left Eden, they, for the first time, had wickedness within them. They were able to give in to temptation. But they had the choice to choose the good. In Genesis, Cain chose evil and was sent “East of Eden” (see 4:1-16). Nevertheless, Cain had the choice to choose whether he would follow good or evil throughout his life: he was not condemned straight away.

In this novel, what makes Cathy and others evil is that they don’t “choose” the good. They don’t put off the “natural man.” And that makes all of the difference. On the other hand, other characters in the novel seem to completely miss the “natural man” and are thus overwhelmingly “good.” Ultimately, though, Steinbeck’s point is that we all must choose what we will do: the crux of agency is that we are free to choose. Everyone is!

I don’t know how many reading this review will want to read the novel. Some of the situations and characters are downright evil. But I think a key to reading literature is finding how it relates to your own life; part of what I gain by reading East of Eden is a better appreciation of what it means to have agency.

How Do You Read?

2 Replies

In John Steinbeck’s East of Eden, Steinbeck contrasts two of his characters, and I love this imagery:

And the books that came into the house, some of them secretly–well, Samuel rode lightly on top of a book and he balanced happily among ideas the way a man rides white rapids in a canoe. But Tom got into a book, crawled and groveled between the covers, tunneled like a mole among the thoughts, and came up with the book all over his face and hands.

Part 3, Chapter 23

I think I’ve always been like Samuel: riding along a book (especially novels) without really thinking about them. A few months ago, my husband called me a “page-turner”: as long as I’m turning pages I don’t care what I’m reading, and as a result, I can read two pages and not remember what I just read. The bottom line is, I read too fast.

When my husband pointed this out to me, I decided it was time to read more carefully. I’ve been trying to “crawl between covers” lately — that’s one reason I’ve been giving book reports on this blog.

How do you read a book: do you ride the rapids or tunnel like a mole? If neither, is there another image that you can apply to yourself?

Painting a Novel: East of Eden by John Steinbeck

3 Replies

My writing teachers have always instructed to “show not tell.” I didn’t understand it, really, until I began to read John Steinbeck’s East of Eden last month.

I thought “showing” meant describing the character in a context: hair color, quirks, and personality traits, mentioned as the story unfolds. Here’s a silly example I just thought of: “She tossed her mousy brown hair over her shoulder, crossed her arms in front of her, and narrowed her dark brown eyes as the wicked man sauntered toward her.” With that type of description, I can picture what is happening: the movie is playing and I don’t need to guess what people look like or how they react to a situation.

Steinbeck does not do that. He steps aside from the plot development to show us who these characters are. This could be boring, but it is not when Steinbeck does it. Here are a few paragraphs describing Liza Hamilton.

Liza Hamilton was a very different kettle of Irish. Her head was small and round and it held small round convictions. She had a button nose and a hard little set-back chin, a gripping jaw set on its course even though the angels of God argued against it.

Liza was a good plain cook, and her house — it was always her house — was brushed and pummeled and washed.

She wore her hair always pulled tight back and bunned behind in a hard knot. And since I can’t remember how she dressed, it must have been that she wore clothes that matched herself exactly. She had no spark of humor and only occasionally a blade of cutting wit. She frightened her grandchildren because she had no weakness. She suffered bravely and uncomplainingly through life, convinced that that was the way her God wanted everyone to live. She felt that rewards came later.

(Part 1, Chapter 2)

Steinbeck’s approach gives us a description of this woman as if he were describing a photograph (her head, her nose, her chin, her hair) and we can picture Liza in our minds because the description gives us the information a photograph would. But Steinbeck is also able to give her a personality: Liza Hamilton becomes real to me. As a result, as the novel progresses, I am able to anticipate how she would react simply because her character is so full of life. That is hard to do.

And guess what? She was real: Steinbeck based Samuel and Liza Hamilton in the novel on his own maternal grandparents of the same name. That underscores what I’ve always known: write what you know about and it will come alive. By extension, if a writer doesn’t know a character (or a setting or time period) — her personality, physical description , and personal history, for example — he can’t truly describe her so the reader feels he knows her too.

Have you ever looked at an oil painting up close? Some strokes of color are thicker than others; each stroke of paint leaves a texture. The painting may not look like a photograph: the colors will be different and the artist’s interpretation of the person, place, or thing will be different from the “real thing.” But often there is a texture that makes an oil painting much more interesting than a photograph would be.

Steinbeck writes an oil painting. He paints the characters, the setting, and the decades. I recognize the textures as I read the novel. It feels rich and full of life, and I love to read it. Truly, this texture helps make it a classic.

I have much more to say about East of Eden. But, for now, tell me: can you recommend any other novels that you feel “paint” the characters, the setting, and the time period? I want to read more.

Lesson 6: Adversity Can Help Us Grow

Leave a reply

Since my class didn’t have a substitute — other than the teacher next door, who taught Book of Mormon — they are now three weeks behind. I will have to merge lessons, but I really don’t want to shorten the next three. They are so important! It’s my current challenge, or, if you will, a tiny little “adversity.”

In 2 Nephi, chapter 2, Lehi explained to his son Jacob why we need adversity to learn (verses 11, 16, 22-23). When we compare our lives to life in the Garden of Eden, we see that life would be lacking if there wasn’t opposition. As I mentioned when I shared my thoughts about the Garden of Eden, it’s clear to me that opposition is necessary. I used the example of childbirth: it was horrible, but I learned so much.

In that same chapter of the Book of Mormon, we read about a person who faced adversity (2 Nephi 2:1-2). Jacob was “afflicted” because of his brothers. When I think that Laman and Lemuel tried to kill Nephi multiple times, I think that Jacob must have really struggled as a young boy trying to learn the gospel! And yet, Lehi says that Jacob nevertheless was strong in the faith. I think his trials as a child made him stronger.

Let’s read about other examples of adversity. As we read, think about how we can prepare for adversity.

In the first, a parable, there are two people facing adversity (Matthew 7:24-27). This is a story we’ve known since primary when we sang it:

The wise man built his house upon the rock,
And the rains came tumbling down.
The rains came down, and the floods came up,
And the house on the rock stood still.
The foolish man built his house upon the sand
And the rains came tumbling down.
The rains came down, and the floods came up
And the house on the sand washed away.

When I was young, I thought of this song as a “fun song” after all, there are hand motions. I didn’t realize it was a spiritual song. It is talking about Christ, and how we need to build a foundation on Christ:

And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall. –Helaman 5:12

Life is hard because there is adversity in it, and there is no promise that it will be easy for us: we knew it would be hard when we agreed to come to earth. But we can rely on Christ and make him our foundation as we go through hard times.

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. –Matthew 11:28-30

(Note, and this is just me: I don’t think he’s saying things will be easy if we turn to him. He’s saying his yoke is easy. I think that means that it is easy to turn to Him and make Him a part of our lives. He’s there for us. We still may have a hard life, filled with adversity, even by depending on Christ. The man with a house upon a rock still had to face the rains. But Christ can help us, and we’ll have a foundation that is sturdy. We can trust Christ to always be there.)

Here are some scriptural examples of adversity.

  • Jonah 1:1-17; 2:1, 10; 3:1-3
  • 1 Nephi 16:18-27, 30-32
  • D&C 121:heading, 1-2, 6, 7-8 and D&C 122:5-9

As we read, we’ll answer these questions:

  • Who had the trial?
  • What trial did he have?
  • Why did he have this trial?
  • What did he learn?

Some adversity is our own fault: we sin and thus bring adversity upon ourselves (as Jonah did and as we do when we break the commandments). Other adversity doesn’t come from sin but from the circumstances we are in (Nephi’s bow broke; our car didn’t start; our dinner burned, which technically is our fault but we didn’t intend for it to happen). Still other trials come because other people are exercising their agency (Nephi’s family complained against him; enemies put Joseph Smith in jail; our little brother lost our favorite book). But ultimately, adversity can strengthen us. We can’t complain too much: as the Lord reminded Joseph Smith, the Son of Man descended beneath all of us: He suffered for all of us already. If we say it’s too hard, we’re saying we’re greater than He is.

Let’s not pretend our adversity is that bad. By relying on Christ and making Him our foundation, we can get through any rains that may come.

Lesson 6 of 45

Lesson 4 and Lesson 5: The Atonement and Mortality

Leave a reply

(Note: I put a link to the LDS scriptures in the sidebar. It takes too long to link each reference!)

While teaching my lesson about the Atonement four weeks ago, I ran out of time to talk about the most important aspects, namely the things we must do to receive all the blessings of the Atonement and what will happen if we do not accept the Atonement in our lives.

Since then, I’ve missed three weeks of lessons and I don’t know who, if anyone, was the substitute. (I did talk to the Sunday school president and he said he’d find substitutes, but my husband thinks the Sunday school president was probably confused and I should have found substitutes myself. Oops.)

Because I don’t know what to expect, here’s my plan for gospel discussion, which merges the concepts of lesson 4 (The Atonement of Jesus Christ) and lesson 5 (Mortality: A Time to Learn through Experience). I feel like lesson 4 is the most important lesson in the manual, so I want to make sure we discuss some of the concepts again.

  • First, to find out: What did you talk about the last few weeks? Who were your teachers?
  • Then, to remind them: We’ve been talking about the plan of salvation. In Moses 1:39, we learn that Heavenly Father’s work and glory is to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man. What does immortality mean? What does eternal life mean?
  • Then, to follow up: Last time I was with you, we watched a movie. In it, a man wanted to buy a property. He signed a contract with a creditor in order to purchase the property. But when it came time to pay off the contract, he couldn’t. The creditor was going to put him in jail (as justice required), but instead his friend came. His friend offered to pay the fine (out of mercy) so the man didn’t have to go to jail. What was the man required to do for his friend? Who did these people in the movie represent: the creditor, the man, the friend?

Today we’re going to talk about two things: What we must do to make the Atonement of Jesus Christ real in our lives and what we must learn in this life to prepare to meet Heavenly Father.

To discuss the two key points of this lesson, we’re going to read parts of 2 Nephi 9, which I believe is one of the best chapters in the Book of Mormon (is it fair to choose favorites?). I think it discusses the vital aspects of the Atonement.

2 Nephi 9:4-7, 21-24

  • In verse 4, what does it mean that our “flesh must waste away” but “in our bodies we shall see God”? (see footnote b, Alma 11:41)
  • In verse 5, what does “subject unto him” mean? Remember that in the movie, the man must pay the debt back to his friend. We likewise must to subject ourselves to Christ to receive the blessing of the Atonement in our lives. What are some things we must do?
  • Believe (John 3:16)
  • Repent (Doctrine and Covenants 19:16, 2 Nephi 9:23)
  • Hearken unto his voice (2 Nephi 9:21)
  • Be baptized and exercise faith in Christ (2 Nephi 9:23)
  • Endure to the end (2 Nephi 9:24)
  • In verse 6, it mentions the “merciful plan of the great Creator.” What does that mean? What do we know about this plan? (Moses 1:39) How does the Atonement fulfill part of this plan?
  • In verse 7, we learn that the “first judgment” would never have ended for us without the Atonement. The “first judgment” is like the creditor in the movie: there is justice, but no mercy. How did the Savior make it possible to overcome that judgment? How we would be “damned” (verse 22) if we don’t receive the Atonement? What does “damn” actually mean? How can not living with God mean that we are damned?

2 Nephi 9:10-12

  • In verse 10, we read about death and hell. What do these mean (hint: they are different)?
  • Without a Savior, which death would be worse: physical death or spiritual death? (hint: this is a trick question!)
  • If you disobeyed the Savior your entire life, which death would be worse: physical death or spiritual death? (hint: this is also a trick question.)

2 Nephi 9:13-16, 27

  • Before reading these verses: When you think of “hell,” what stereotypes do you think of?
  • In verse 13, we read that everyone will be resurrected, but some people will not be happy. Why would a perfect knowledge be a challenge? How could being separated from Heavenly Father be “hell”?
  • In verse 15, we read that everyone must appear before the judgment seat. What difference will it make to have the Savior on your side? (Think of the movie “The Mediator.”)
  • In verse 16, we read that people will be “filthy’ after resurrection. Why do you think people will be “filthy” even after being resurrected? What can you do in this life to avoid being “filthy” even after the resurrection? Why is important to follow the Savior in this life? What qualities can we develop and what do we need to learn in this life so we can appear before Heavenly Father and the Savior “clean”?
  • Charity is the pure love of Christ (Moroni 7:45-47)
  • Qualities to emulate (2 Peter 1:5-7)
  • What people, experiences, and organizations has the Savior blessed us with so we can learn these things?
  • Family: Doctrine and Covenants 88:123 (we learn love and unselfishness)
  • Church callings: Doctrine and Covenants 4:2 (we learn service)
  • Friends: Doctrine and Covenants 121:9 (we learn loyalty)
  • School, church, and seminary classes: Doctrine and Covenants 130:18-19 (we learn knowledge and understanding)

I realize that I probably won’t get through all of this material. I don’t know what they’ve learned in the past few weeks and so we’ll have to play it by ear.

I also realize that some of these questions might be challenging for 12-year-olds. Overall, though, I feel the manual doesn’t give them enough credit. They are very smart and able to understand the scriptures. We should spend more time reading directly from the scriptures and less time reading stories. I feel that stories might be good, but they are not as powerful as the word of God. A class of bright 12-year-olds can benefit from a Sunday school class immersed in the scriptures.

The Power of Testimony

2 Replies

I forgot about this experience until I was preparing my Sunday School lesson, and I decided I’d write about it.

First, here is the background: My Sunday school class last year contained four very quiet 13-year-old girls and one very quiet 13-year-old boy. They were a great class — they knew the answers or at least tried to participate, quietly and submissively. They all turned 14 and so went to a new teacher at the beginning of the year.

This year, I have three very talkative 12-year-old girls and one quiet 12-year-old boy. Actually, only one of the girls is very talkative (I’ll call her Sarah) — the others just feed off of her. The girls tend to whisper to each other and distract the others from the lesson. Sarah tries to think of off-the-wall questions to stump me as I try to teach. Sometimes the questions are very good — but often they seem so off subject it’s hard to get momentum back for the lesson I’ve prepared.

Four weeks ago, during my lesson about the Atonement, I was feeling particularly overwhelmed by the distracted class and the super-important subject matter. (I mentioned I felt overwhelmed trying to teach the Atonement in 30 minutes to begin with.) Sarah kept whispering and giggling with another girl, whom I’ll call Mary. (They were sniffing their marking pencils which apparently had scents: “They’re Smencils,” I was told.)

Anyway, I was trying to talk above their whispers so the other two class members could learn something. I mean, I was talking about the Atonement; the least the girls could do was listen. But I was not having any luck. I was distracted and the other girl and boy kept glancing at Sarah and Mary.

“OK, listen,” I finally said, stopping mid-sentence. “I’m giving the most important lesson in the book right now. Can I tell you why this is the most important lesson?”

The two girls stopped giggling and looked up. I had the attention of the whole room.

“I’m talking about our Savior Jesus Christ today. The only way we can return to our Heavenly Father is through Jesus Christ and His Atonement. The purpose of our Heavenly Father, His entire work and glory, is to “bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” That includes you. You are His work and His glory! Every other lesson in this manual and every lesson you will ever receive in the church goes back to the Savior. I’m talking about Him today. I need you to listen, because I know this is true and I know this is very important.”

The room was silent and the spirit was so strong I felt like crying (and I don’t usually cry when I feel the spirit). The room stayed quiet as I continued the lesson. The class participated. We watched the movie “The Mediator” and by the end the two girls were whispering again, but this time they were whispering about the video. (“No, I think the friend represents Jesus.”)

They were back to whispering a little by the end of the class, and the cloud of spirit had subsided a little by then, but I was amazed by the power bearing my testimony had in that moment. I know it made a difference to the class.

After the warning bell rang, I still had more than 10 minutes of material left — I know we wouldn’t get to it.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. We won’t get to the whole lesson today,” I said as I bore my testimony at the end of class.

“Well, will you finish this lesson next week?” Sarah asked.

I was flabbergasted. Most weeks, I’m not sure she’s listening at all.

I explained that I was going out of town, but I’d make sure we talk about what’s most important again. For this reason alone, I intend to go back and reemphasize some of the material from that lesson. Sarah, the talkative one, wants me to finish the most important lesson in the book. She was listening!

Home Again

Leave a reply

Before I left Australia for our visit to the United States, I was telling my friends that I was I finally going home.

Then we spent 19 days living out of suitcases, living in other peoples’ houses, and driving other peoples’ cars. We enjoyed overwhelming hospitality and we had a lovely time visiting with family. But now, 20 days later, I can honestly say that I am finally home.

Home is no longer where my parents live — it’s where my family lives. And my family is now my husband and child.

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. (Genesis 2:24)

I am so glad for this aspect of Heavenly Father’s plan, for I truly feel that my husband and I are one.

That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us — that they may be one, even as we are one. (John 17:21-22)

I realize that the Savior is speaking of our becoming one with the Father. However, I feel myself becoming unified with my husband in a similar manner. I understand how the Father and the Son are one, even though they are two beings: my husband and I have become one, even though we are two people. I understand how the Father wants our relationship with Him to be. United in purpose: One.

Moving across the world and having a child brought me closer to my husband. I found that traveling for 19 days also did. And now we are home again. Home. United: One.

The Opposite of an Epiphany

Leave a reply

Epiphany, noun; 3 a (1): a usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something (2): an intuitive grasp of reality through something (as an event) usually simple and striking (3): an illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure b: a revealing scene or moment

When I was a young girl, my family went to Nauvoo at least once a year. I was very familiar with the shops and houses and streets, and every visit, a little bit more was developed to be like Old Nauvoo. I enjoyed those visits.

We always started at the Visitors’ Center. We’d watch the orientation video and we’d go on a tour. I was always impressed by a particular display stand. It was a display of the golden plates underneath some glass. A plaque next to the display said something like this:

The Golden Plates: Joseph Smith translated the writings on the golden plates into what became the Book of Mormon.

When I was 14 or 15, I was sitting in a Sunday school class. We were talking about church history. I don’t recall what the subject was on that particular day, but it occurred to me: the plates in the Nauvoo Visitors’ Center were not the real golden plates. It was a moment of realization: “I can’t believe I just figured that out.”

I can’t bring myself to call it an epiphany because the result was realizing how ridiculous my prior understanding had been. It wasn’t an “intuitive grasp”; it was a “wow, I’m slow” moment. So I’ll call it an “opposite of an epiphany.”

I had another “opposite of an epiphany” the other day. I was singing Paul a song about Noah and telling him about all the animals he put on the ark. When I got to kangaroos, I stopped.

“Wait a minute,” I said. “Kangaroos are native to Australia alone. How did Noah get kangaroos in the Middle East?”

My husband Looked at me. “What do you think? Do you really think Noah took two of every single species of animal on the ark?”

And then I had the same feeling as when I realized the golden plates aren’t in the Visitors’ Center: Noah’s story, and the entire Bible, is of one people in one nation. We don’t really have to take it completely literally.

Of course, it doesn’t matter where the real golden plates are. My testimony of the translation doesn’t depend on the physical plates. It’s the same thing with Noah. Did Noah take kangaroos on the ark? Did the Lord cover 197 million square miles (the entire surface of the earth) with water? I don’t know. Yes, it’s true that “With God, nothing shall be is impossible” (Luke 1:37), but in this particular story, I don’t think it happened literally and it really doesn’t matter if it did or not. My testimony doesn’t depend on it.

On my last visit to Nauvoo, I didn’t see the golden plates display; the Visitors’ Center has been completely reorganized since I was a young girl.

But these “opposite of an epiphany” moments are reminding me that I have a lot of growing up to do: Was I really an adult before I realized that? What other things am I not realizing?

Have you had any “opposite of an epiphany” moments?

Healing

2 Replies

The surgeon cut me open four times. Three cuts were half an inch. The last was one inch. He removed one of my organs (my gallbladder) through one of them.

For one week, I left the waterproof bandages on. I had bled, and the bandages were weary. My muscles were sore, like someone had punched me in the gut. I rested. But then I stood up. I swept the floor. I picked up my baby, and I went to the grocery store. I lived.

After one week, a nurse removed the bandages and the stitches.

Now, four bright red lines mark the spots. The skin has come together. There is no more blood oozing, there is no more pain. My body has healed itself.

As I look at my week-old wounds, I think one word: Miracle. My body is a miracle.

Your body, whatever its natural gifts, is a magnificent creation of God. It is a tabernacle of flesh–a temple for your spirit. A study of your body attests to its divine design.

Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend.

Mosiah 4:9

Watching my body heal has strengthened my testimony of God’s majesty.