Category Archives: Deep Thoughts

The Need to be an Optimist

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I have recently observed that I am very pessimistic. I worry about my son dying of SIDS (chance: 50 of 100,000). I worry about the car falling off the edge of the mountain as we drive around sharp corners. I worry about a rock piercing the car tire and leaving us stranded in the middle of nowhere. (Can a rock even do that?)

And yet, as Boyd K. Packer said (Ensign, November 1977),

Somewhere there is a message in the protest of a man who said: “You can’t tell me worry doesn’t help. The things I worry about never happen.”

By extension, then, the things I do not worry about do happen.

This is our garage ceiling the day before we left town for our Christmas vacation:

IMG_6265LR[1]

Apparently, three days of spring rain flowed through a leak in our roof. The buildup of water subsequently leaked through the ceiling and collapsed through the dry wall in a big gush of water.

There has been another Disaster recently, this one involving a litre of vegetable oil in the trunk of the car. I don’t want to talk about it.

Whatever is going to happen will happen, whether or not I agonize about it first. I really ought to let go. Life will be more pleasant. And then I wont be afraid to live and take chances. (My “chances” will be within reason, of course. I am still me, after all; I am conservative in the risks I take.) I need to be realistic in the things I think about and concern myself with what is important.

Therefore, my first New Years goal is to not worry. I promise I won’t post pessimistic things on this webpage. And I’m going to let go of my worries. It’s time I embrace optimism or, at the very least, realism.

Gingerbread

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Inspired by my cousin’s report of making gingerbread with her kids, I decided to have a go at the holiday treat too. Why not make Christmas cookies to get the Christmas spirit? Besides, I’ve been reading food blogs lately and the recipes and pictures looked so enticing.

The first challenge was the lack of molasses in this country. I’ve since been told that I can get molasses at a health food store (why a health food store?), but last week I didn’t know that. At every grocery store and specialty shop I asked, I was either asked what molasses is or directed to the pomegranate “molasses” (which is pretty much just pomegranate juice). Alas! How can you make gingerbread without molasses?!

I would have used corn syrup (known as golden syrup here) but I also couldn’t find it. I guess I didn’t want to go around to all the specialty shops again, so I just settled for maple syrup, which I had at home.

The maple syrup didn’t add particularly much. The final result was more gingersnap-like rather than gingerbread-like. That was a little disappointing, but they were still tasty. I had a fun time decorating some cookies for the ward Christmas party.

I made some missionary gingerbread men (notice the bow ties)….

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and I made some gingerbread ladies. (Notice her ruffles and the high heels.)

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OK, so I was a bit silly in my very amateur decoration. The piping tip was too large for such small cookies.

I enjoyed myself for a while, but then I looked down at all the gingerbread left to be decorated. It was already 9:30 on Thursday night and my husband had already returned home from his long meetings. I still had tons of icing left and more than 30 gingerbread men still unclothed!

I recalled how last year Mom, Dad, Frank, Elizabeth, and Daniel came and decorated graham cracker gingerbread houses. How I miss you all! Daniel, I think you’d have enjoyed decorating these little guys! I invited my husband to join in, but, you know, it really isn’t his thing.

(When I mourned the fact that I still had so many left to decorate, my husband gleefully said, “I have no sympathy!”After he ate some, however, he thanked me most sincerely for bringing the Christmas Spirit into our home. And then he cleaned up the icing-covered kitchen. What a wonderful husband I have!)

So what do you do with 32 unfrosted gingerbread men? I did what anybody in her right mind would do: I invited my Sunday school class (13-14 years old) over to decorate the rest. I froze the undecorated little guys, and they came today (Wednesday) and frosted the rest of the gingerbread men. Then they ate them and took them home with them! (I neglected to take pictures of their marvelous little creations….)

Next year, Paul will probably still be too little to even eat these guys. But in two years, I look forward to seeing his delight as he decorates his own Christmas cookies.

Comfort Food

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Last week I felt very efficient. I cleaned the whole apartment from top to bottom and cooked dinner every night. Saturday night I made a turkey dinner and we entertained. I felt very good.

This week has been kind of blah. Monday was raining. Tuesday I felt unwell. Wednesday Paul got his first immunizations so he was very unhappy and sore. Thursday I spent the day filling out insurance paperwork. I haven’t been very good at cleaning, and since I didn’t do a big shopping trip on Saturday, I can only cook what I can buy and carry in the stroller, so I’ve done some easy things.

Last night I made Macaroni and Cheese. I think of it as a comfort food because it is so easy to make. I make sure I have a block of cheddar cheese and macaroni in the house so I can make it when I’m in a pinch for a yummy dinner.

I thought I’d share the recipe. (And yes, it is so much better than Kraft.)

Easy Macaroni and Cheese

Ingredients

    500 g (1 lb) macaroni, cooked
    1 cup grated sharp Cheddar cheese
    1 cup bread crumbs
Cheese Sauce Ingredients
    4 Tbsp butter
    4 Tbsp flour
    2 1/2 cups milk, heated
    Salt
    Pepper
    Pinch of cayenne pepper
    1 cup grated sharp Cheddar cheese

Directions

    Prepare cheese sauce as follows: Melt the butter in a heavy-bottomed saucepan. Stir in the flour and cook, stirring constantly, until the paste cooks and bubbles a bit, but don’t let it brown, about 2 minutes. Add the hot milk, continuing to stir as the sauce thickens. Bring it to a boil. Add salt and pepper to taste, lower the heat, and cook, stirring for 2 to 3 minutes more. Stir in 1 cup grated Cheddar cheese during the last 2 minutes of cooking, along with a pinch of cayenne pepper. Remove from heat.

Here’s what I’ve learned in making this dish. First, if I accidentally add too much flour, I’ll have to start over. I’ve made this dish a few times so I guess I was feeling confident at my estimating. But I accidentally put in way too much and I could tell right away it would never blend together. I dumped it out and started again.

Second, if I don’t cook the roux long enough, the sauce will not thicken. I missed that the first time or two. I just had a milky cheese sauce. How do you know when the roux is cooked long enough? I’m still trying to figure it out. My husband says it smells “nutty.” I guess so, but how do you really define that? Last night, I thought I didn’t cook it long enough because the sauce wasn’t thickening. I was going to give it five more minutes and then start over with a new roux. But then it thickened up, so I didn’t have to.

Third, I should have used whole milk! We had some in the fridge, but I didn’t think of it until after I’d added skim milk. Oh well.

Fourth, I should make sure I put in salt and pepper! The first time I omitted them. I think I used to be afraid of putting them in, for any dish. But the more the better — to a certain extent…

    Preheat the oven to 375°F (190 C). Butter a casserole dish. Put the cooked macaroni into the casserole dish, pour the cheese sauce over it, and mix gently with a fork.

Somehow, I didn’t quite have enough sauce last night. If I’d have had time, I’d have made another batch of sauce. It’s good to have very creamy mac and cheese. Instead, we just poured milk over the top of our bowls when we served it.

    Sprinkle the grated cheese evenly over the top and spread the crumbs over the cheese. Bake, uncovered, until the top is golden and the sauce is bubbling, about 30 minutes.

I didn’t measure the cheese or the breadcrumbs. I just put on as much as looked tasty.

And it was tasty! (Yes, even the leftovers are gone already!)

Some Turkey

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Everybody knows some turkey and some mistletoe/ Will help to make the season bright. –The Christmas Song

I was feeling a bit left out of the Turkey Day celebrations (since, of course, there was no holiday here). I decided that it was time to do my own Thanksgiving dinner. I invited my friend Michelle and her family for a Saturday, 1 December, Thanksgiving dinner. There were 7 people total. A small gathering, but the largest number I’ve entertained.

I went to order a turkey from the Christmas Made Easy counter on Monday so I can prepare a lovely Turkey Dinner. They won’t provide ordered turkeys until 21 December. They don’t carry turkeys other times of the year.

I finally found a 3.2 kg (7 lb) frozen turkey breast at a supermarket. They seem few and far between. You’d think they’d have big signs advertising them. Is that how it is in the States? Aren’t turkeys just flying off the shelves already?

For those of you preparing to do your own Turkey Dinner this holiday season, here is what an amateur learned her first time around.

  • A turkey breast is a lot smaller and looks a lot easier to manage than an entire turkey. (And, while I never have done an entire turkey, it really was easy to do the turkey breast!)
  • When defrosting turkey in the fridge, don’t put the turkey on the top shelf.
  • When defrosting turkey in the fridge, make sure you put a pan underneath it.
  • If you don’t do the two preceding things, you’ll have to scrub the entire fridge and throw out the fresh fruit that is sitting on the bottom shelf.
  • Brining the turkey breast really isn’t hard.
  • When cooking a turkey in a small oven, make sure the oven shelf is as low as possible. Otherwise, the turkey will be just millimetres from the top broiler and will get all crusty on top.
  • When purchased, the turkey is wrapped with a foam pad. Throw out the foam pad before putting the turkey in the oven. Otherwise, at the end you won’t be able to separate the foam from the turkey drippings and it will be kind of nasty.
  • Make your husband carve the turkey.
  • Don’t have too many dishes: turkey, cranberry sauce and gravy, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and salad is plenty of food. There will be leftovers! (Hmmm, maybe it just wasn’t very good and that’s why it’s left over…)
  • When hurrying to put things away five minutes before company arrives, be careful not to bump the Pyrex liquid measuring cup from the top shelf of the cupboard. Otherwise, it will shatter and glass fragments will end up everywhere and you’ll be in even more of a panic. And you’ll get cuts on your hands.
  • If the pecan pie cooks too long, the crust will fly across the room when you try to cut into it.
  • If the pies don’t taste very good, just put more whipped cream on top. (Note to my family members who will be amazed at that comment: this is not Cool Whip or cream from the can, which I never have liked. This is real whipped cream, which is actually very tasty.)
  • If the pies don’t taste very good, everyone will still eat them because they have lots of sugar in them. Plus, there’s the whipped cream.

That’s what I learned. And, just to clarify, my husband (who is the true cook) had to work all day and didn’t get home until 5 p.m., when I was about to take the turkey out of the oven. (Company came at 6 p.m.) I did it all, except make the gravy and carve the turkey. Yes, I can cook a turkey dinner! Maybe I’m a cook too…

And now I feel like it’s the holidays! Happy Turkey Days to all of you!

Cleaning as Nurturing

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I’ve been thinking a lot about the talk by Sister Beck in conference about motherhood. Here’s the part I’ve been dwelling on the last few days:

Another word for nurturing is homemaking. Homemaking includes cooking, washing clothes and dishes, and keeping an orderly home. Home is where women have the most power and influence; therefore, Latter-day Saint women should be the best homemakers in the world. … Nurturing mothers are knowledgeable, but all the education women attain will avail them nothing if they do not have the skill to make a home that creates a climate for spiritual growth. Growth happens best in a “house of order,” and women should pattern their homes after the Lord’s house (see D&C 109). Nurturing requires organization, patience, love, and work.

To nurture, I need to cook, wash clothes and dishes, and keep an orderly home.

Firstly, cooking. As I mentioned yesterday, I’ve recently discovered I love to cook! Cooking no longer feels like a chore, but a delight. I can see how cooking a meal for my family is nurturing them.

Next, washing clothes and dishes. I don’t mind doing laundry and dishes. Once the clothes are clean, then the hampers are empty, and that feels satisfying. I get to do twice as much laundry now with an infant. I really don’t mind doing it. True, I dyed a few of Pauls’ white onesies pink the first week of his life, but since then, there have been no “disasters” and we’ve been clothed well.

As for dishes, one of my first jobs at BYU was a dishwasher in the CougarEat kitchens. It was relaxing. My husband does dishes each night after dinner now anyway because Paul is usually hungry at just the right moment…but really, I don’t mind dishes at all.

Finally, keeping an orderly home. I take this to mean cleaning and not just keeping things organized. I can put things away and avoid piles of “stuff” and wipe down kitchen counters. I can follow a grocery budget and keep my pantry stocked and in order. But my problem right now is cleaning. I find sweeping, mopping, cleaning toilets, scrubbing down showers, vacuuming, and dusting absolutely tedious. Mom suggested I like cooking because it’s a symbol of my love. For some reason, I just can’t think of cleaning in the same way. It just feels tedious.

My dislike of cleaning is not a new problem. As a kid, when Mom gave me my chores on Saturday mornings, I’d sing “It’s a Hard-Knock Life” and grumble about how unfair it was to have to clean. As an adult, my philosophy has always been: if I can see the dust, it’s too late. But after Paul was born, I went a month without touching a broom. As I mentioned before, that was much too long.

The problem is that we have a two-story, three-bedroom, two-and-a-half bath town home with hardwood floors the size of Kentucky. And as I got around to mopping the other day, I saw little ants and a spider’s cobweb.

As Sister Beck said, I need the “skill to make a home that creates a climate for spiritual growth.” Dust and ants hinder that spiritual growth. How can I delight in cleaning as nurturing rather than as a chore? How can I develop the same sense of satisfaction with cleaning that I recently have found with cooking?

Sup-Sup-Suppertime

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I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate.—Julia Child

Non-cooks think it’s silly to invest two hours’ work in two minutes’ enjoyment; but if cooking is evanescent, so is the ballet. —Julia Child

Despite my mother’s best intentions, I never really liked or learned to cook while I was in her household.

In college, I avoided cooking and lived on Rice-a-Roni, sugar cookies, and Life cereal for four years. (My roommates can attest to that.) It helped that I often didn’t notice when I was hungry and forgot to eat. When I first got married, I would kind of cook, but not really — just so my stomach was full, I didn’t care what went in it. My husband loves to cook and he’d do the cooking on the weekends. But when he was out of town, I was lucky if I didn’t just get McDonalds. We moved to Australia and suddenly I was not working, I had time and no more excuses. I felt my husband deserved a home-cooked meal each night. I found recipes and began cooking; “at least three times a week” was my goal. It was tedious, but I could do it.

At that point, I felt that if I tried something challenging, I would mess up and it would be a disaster — so why try the hard things? Besides, food will be gone in a few moments. Why put in effort to create something spectacular? As a result, I made “boring” dishes that I didn’t feel too proud of. I felt I needed to apologize before serving it. (I never heard a word of complaint; rather, my husband always said my food was wonderful.)

Then Paul was born. I felt somewhat out of control for a few weeks and I didn’t cook at all. Then, one day (Paul was probably two weeks old), I sat down and found a recipe, I got the ingredients, and I made some yummy food. It was so much fun. Since then, I’ve found that I love cooking! Yes, sometimes I really don’t feel like cooking and we do something easy or my husband cooks. But on most days, I’ve found I love the hour I have every evening to create a feast for my husband. I’m getting pretty good at timing it so it’s ready just as he’s walking in the door. And I love it.

I’ve been cooking any recipe that looks tasty. What’s the result of cooking any recipe? Plenty of “oops” meals, and plenty of learning. Some recipes take a lot of effort. Some work well and others don’t. And the food is gone in minutes or days if we’re lucky (leftovers are a good thing). I know more about technique and flavor pairing than I ever did before. I can critique my finished product and determine what is missing or overpowering in it. I can tweak a recipe as I cook to make it better.

I actually look forward to trying five or six new recipes next week.

I don’t know what changed, but there’s something satisfying I didn’t feel before. It feels great to welcome my husband home from work with a complete feast on the table. Cooking is fun. Sup-sup-suppertime really is the very best time of the day!

Come, Listen to a Prophet’s Voice

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Today I finally received our first Ensign since we moved to Australia. It is the November Ensign. Why did it come so late in the month? I don’t know, but it was mailed from Sweden, so that might have something to do with it.

Of course, because it is the November Ensign, it contains the conference reports. How blessed we are to receive counsel from latter-day prophets twice a year! I am so eager to read them again. I was in labor during the first two sessions of conference, so I wasn’t paying much attention (to say the least). (Yes, we really were watching the BYU TV broadcast of conference at 5 in the morning while I was in labor.)

Of course, we did download the audio and text files for conference, and I’ve read and listened to them in the past months. But for some reason, it is so comforting to see pictures of church members at the conference center, and to see all the conference talks in the familiar format of the Ensign. It makes the United States feel not so far away. Also, it is so wonderful to realize once again that the Church is the same and the gospel is true no matter where I go in the world.

I sure it’s the same Ensign, even if it was printed and mailed from Sweden.

Happy Thanksgiving

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I am thankful for:

  • My precious little boy
  • My wonderful husband
  • Eternal covenants that bind families together
  • The Gospel of Jesus Christ and everything else that entails

I celebrated the day by:

  • Changing an explosive diaper
  • Doing laundry (thanks to the explosive diaper)
  • Cleaning spit up off the rented couch
  • Sweeping the floors
  • Trying to figure out Christmas presents for you people
  • Eating leftovers

That’s all. (Well, we didn’t get a holiday. What do you expect?)

Enjoy your turkey!

Survey Says…

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I got a call the other day from a student at Melbourne University. She called me as a follow up to a survey I agreed to participate in when I was in the hospital. They ask me questions while in the hospital, at 4-6 weeks, and at 6 months. Then they compare the answers to determine changing perceptions.

One question was as follows: How would you rate the level of pain you experienced during your labor and delivery, 1 being the worst possible pain and 5 being no pain at all?

I thought a moment and answered 2.

I have reflected since then. Did I say 1 when I was in the hospital?

I am glad I wrote about the childbirth experience right after it happened, because I guess already I’m forgetting how bad it was. The great cuddly moments with my son are mellowing out the memory of labor. How I love being a mother!

My husband and I watched Bill Cosby’s take on natural childbirth the other day. Here it is, in two parts (each is 5-6 minutes long).

Bill Cosby Natural Childbirth Part 1
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFMVeZyhagI]

Bill Cosby Natural Childbirth Part 2
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_w-AG_yF1Uw]

My comments: I really don’t think yelling at my husband would have helped at all! However, I may have yelled at him had he started into a cheer: “Push him out! Shove him out! Waaaaaaaay out!”