Author Archives: rebecca

Under-Exciting

I guess I thought that by paying THOUSANDS of dollars, I’d be overly excited with the final result. Not so. It’s just a roof. I stepped back and looked at the house for the first time and thought, “Oh. That’s it.”

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On the other hand, it’s a ROOF that I own! The insurance company will insure it! I won’t get rained on! I don’t have to replace it for 25 years! Yeay!

It does look a lot better. (And then I look at these pictures and think it looks just the same! Can you even tell the difference?!)

Before pictures:

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Helping

I had to change the batteries of Paul’s jungle music box. (He loves it and I do to: he amuses himself at night if he doesn’t want to go to sleep and in the morning when I haven’t come in yet).

He wanted to do it himself (after I was done).

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The Stage of Frustration

Paul has reached a new stage: frustration. He can’t talk, but he thinks he can. So he has lots of mini-tantrums every day. He says: “Goggol bubble mmmmmlophble.” When I don’t do what he wants, he repeats himself louder. Then he starts to scream.

On the other hand, he also knows about 25 signs. Apple, cracker, help, please, thank you, milk, more, banana, cookie, shoes, socks, play, ball, eat, water, bath, and I’m sure I’m missing a number of them. When he signs one of those things and I can’t do what he wants, he screams.

I know this is stage. And I don’t want to indulge his every whim. I’ll give him what he wants when I can. But some days it’s a bit frustrating on this end too.

Paul, the world won’t end when you don’t get what you want! How long will it take you to learn this?

On the other hand, I got him a hat for when Mommy and Daddy are working out in the yard and it’s sunny. Here he is eating his lunch on the deck Saturday. (For some reason, I couldn’t get him to smile at first. Maybe the sun was in his eyes.)

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948 Days

I learned this week that the house we bought at the end of January had been on the market 948 days.

That means that it went on the market approximately on June 26, 2006.

Ryan and I had been married for just over a month. He was still working from home. I had yet to start graduate school and then drop out of it. Paul was not even thought of yet. I was still working as a proofreader at an accounting firm driving 50 miles each direction.

I told that to Ryan and he said “Why were we the suckers that bought it?”

Ha ha.

We love it. Especially since it was far below market as a pre-foreclosure by the time we got it.

Even assuming they’d sold it below market from the beginning, we couldn’t have bought it 948 days earlier (as we were newlyweds unsure which way were were going to go). We couldn’t have bought it 583 days earlier (as we had just moved to Australia). We couldn’t have bought it even 100 days earlier (as we were still tied to our apartment). We bought it at the right time. And it’s the right place. What a blessing for us!

Off to $replace$ the roof this week. Feel free to oooo and aaaaaah over our Weathered Gray shingles next time you come visit!

Musings on Cleaning with a Kid

I told Paul he could stay in the family room, playing with his toys: I was going to clean the bathrooms. I put the Scrubbing Bubbles container on the corner of the kitchen table and grabbed a few rags from the laundry room.

In the ten seconds I was gone, Paul grabbed the cleanser. (Apparently, he is now tall enough to reach things on the table. Make a note of that.) Then he took off the lid (I have no idea how he was successful so quickly) and went into the bathroom. When I walked into the bathroom, he was rubbing the green nozzle of the bathroom cleaner on the lid of the toilet. (He knew the bubbles had something to do with the nozzle, but wasn’t sure how to get the bubbles out.)

Wow. I was blown away.

Now, I’d love for you to suppose this is a reflection on how often I clean the toilets. Trust me – that is not the case. It’s been at least two weeks since I cleaned the bathrooms and the time before that was, I think, when we first moved in (three weeks before that). I think I just have the most clean-aware child on the face of the planet. Or maybe he’s just going through a very serious “I want to imitate Mommy” stage.

After I sprayed the cleanser on the countertops, Paul grabbed the hand towel and tried to reach the counters himself. As I Swiffer-ed the bathroom floors, Paul tried to steal the Swiffer from me. When I scrubbed the toilets, he wanted to take the brush away from me and splash it in the toilet too. (I didn’t let him, and he was very sad.)

(Paul did dip his finger in some of the Scrubbing Bubbles and put it in his month. Ooops. Trust me, Paul, that’s not whipped cream! I think he realized that when he made such a face…)

I don’t think this interest in cleaning is normal for an (almost) 18-month-old. Or is it?

Don’t get me wrong — I’d love to encourage it. I personally hate cleaning the bathrooms (among other things) and I dreaded Saturday mornings  as a kid when my sister and I were forced to clean (although we made up for it by singing “It’s a Hard-Knock Life” the whole time because our “mean mom” was like Miss Hannigan when she made us do chores). I look forward to the day when I can make cleaning the bathrooms a weekly chore for my son and not for me.  Wouldn’t it be nice if he actually liked to clean?!

I was going to post this little anecdote on Paul’s Page (where I post weekly updates and stories about Paul). But then I was hoping that some of the other moms out there can share their thoughts. At what age were your kids competent at cleaning? Did they ever express an interest in cleaning with you? How do I keep him interested in helping (even though, right now, he really isn’t helping)?

Mental Illness and the Gospel

I have written a number of posts in my head in the past month, but none of them have made it to this webpage yet. Before I get to those, however, there is something that I’d really like to write.

The subject in sacrament meeting yesterday was hope and joy in the gospel, or something along those lines.

(To preface this post, I admit I only heard about half of the talk because I was in and out with Paul, who hit his head right in the middle of the meeting and was rather touchy. This is a reflection on the part of the talk that I did hear.)

The second speaker began by telling about seven different people he knew in his life that had committed suicide. (Yes, seven. That seems rather high to me.) Then he said (and I paraphrase), “On the other hand, I don’t know of anyone in the church that has committed suicide. That’s because the gospel brings so much joy…. If anyone here has those thoughts of suicide, I urge you to pray them away.”

Then he went on to talk about how the gospel makes everything all better when things are hard. Because it brings us joy.

I was in shock. I could not believe he said “pray them away” from the pulpit! He revealed not just his own ignorance of mental illness but also the gospel.

Mental illnesses, such as depression, are not prayed away.

Sure, prayer can help you when you are depressed or sad. But, while I’m not a mental health expert, I do know that real mental illness in the form of severe, suicidal depression is not solved completely by prayer. It’s like telling someone with cancer to “pray it away.” Talk about setting yourself up for failure!

It is okay to have real feelings. The gospel brings joy, but it does not erase real struggles and disease. Sometimes prayer is not enough. Saying that does not mean I don’t have faith. Accepting that does not mean that you don’t have enough faith. It means you accept the reality of (1) mental illness and (2) the gospel plan of Heavenly Father. Prayer might help ease depression, but it might not. If you are seriously feeling suicidal, get help!

Further, the gospel is not a “cure all” to real disease and real struggle. Members of the church get depressed just as non-members get depressed. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if Mormon women (particularly stay-at-home Mormon mothers) struggle with more depression than non-Mormon women, simply because they feel the urge to be “perfect” and they think every wrong choice their children make is a reflection on them. (Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6) Or because Relief Society seems to be full of apparently “perfect” mothers with five children when they are obviously struggling with their two children. Or because their husband is in the bishopric (or working many many hours a day or traveling a lot, etc.) and they are raising the child(ren) essentially alone. Or because they have financial problems and tithing is really really hard to pay this month….and so forth.

The reasons Mormon women feel depressed are just as valid as the reasons non-Mormon women feel depressed. Being a member of the true church of Jesus Christ on the earth does not give you a “Get Out of Depression Free” card. You have to face things that come, just as everyone else on earth does.

In case you don’t believe me, here’s Alexander B. Morrison:

It is important to understand, however, that happiness does not imply the absence of adversity. Every individual experiences temptation, opposition, and trials that test faith and endurance: “For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things” (2 Ne. 2:11).

This is what I wished the Bishop said at the end of the meeting  (This what I would have liked to have said, at least.):

I want to add my testimony that the gospel adds joy. The good news of the gospel is that because of Jesus Christ, we all can have hope. We know we can all be forgiven when we do wrong. We can all be strengthened when we have discouragement.

Besides that, I know that the gospel also provides a wonderful support system. Sometimes our struggles seem to get the best of us. Turn to your home teachers or visiting teachers if you need help. If you don’t feel comfortable turning to them, turn to me [your bishop]. Prayer can help us find joy in our life, but sometimes we need a lifeline too. The church can help you. I want to reiterate what Brother ____ said. If you are feeling depressed and having thoughts of suicide, certainly pray, but also come talk to me [your bishop] or a mental health professional. We can work through depression together.

LDS-approved articles about depression and mental illness from the last four years: (Note: None of these say “pray it away” as the main tool.)

I realize that the brother who spoke is imperfect, just as I am. His sacrament meeting talk is imperfect, just as my talk will be imperfect. This gospel is a gospel of self-improvement, and thanks to the wonderful Atonement of Christ, one of hope and progression. But when he said what he said, I realized that this ignorance to mental illness is something I’d like to fight against. My blog seems like a perfect place for doing so. Thanks for listening.

Reading to Write

In the past six weeks, I packed, moved, and unpacked a house. I feel like I’m home now! This site has seen some strange breaks from blogging, so I’m not going to promise I’ll be back at any regularity.

I’m changing the focus of Rebecca’s Writing Practices. While I want to improve my writing and I’d like to write, my priority is my family. Any other time I have is mainly focusing on reading because that is my main interest right now.

On Rebecca’s Writing Practices, I will still seek out interesting blog articles about writing, I’ll still share quotes about writing and inspiration, and I may participate in some memes about or for my personal writing. I will probably chip in with my random thoughts about writing as well.

For now, since I’m interesting in reading about writing, here are some books on my “to read soon” radar.

Books to Read or Reread

  • Reading Like a Writer by Francine Prose. I’ve heard so much about this book from fellow readers.
  • Sister Bernadette’s Barking Dog: The Quirky History and Lost Art of Diagramming Sentences by Kitty Burns Florey. I loved diagramming while in middle school, but I haven’t done any since then. I’d love to revisit the idea, and this book sounds like fun!
  • Bird by Bird by Anne Lammott. I’m only heard great things about this book.
  • If You Want to Write by Barbara Ueland. I picked this book up at a library sale.
  • Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary of English Usage. It can’t hurt to revisit this every now and then, right?
  • Strunk and White’s Elements of Style. This also deserves a reread.

What inspiring writing or grammar books have you read?

Back to Napping

My goal was to post an update on Paul on Sunday, Monday, or Tuesday each week. Now it is already Wednesday. How time flies!

Paul got sick along with Mommy and Daddy last week. While he wasn’t coughing, sneezing, and otherwise acting sick, he certainly acted like he felt miserable. I mentioned in the last update that he was phasing out his naps — but then last week there was a day when he slept for more than 4 hours during the day! He was definitely acting unwell. He’s better now, but he is back to taking a two-hour nap. Only time will tell how long he’ll keep that up.

Daddy was working from home last week. Paul absolutely loved to have Daddy around, and always looked for him over Mommy. When Mommy tried to take him to do other things, he cried and whined for Daddy. Daddy is much more fun! Paul is definitely a Daddy’s boy. Daddy is traveling again this week, but Paul will love to have him home Thursday and Friday.

Other than being a bit whiny and testing Mommy’s patience everyday, Paul is still the delightful boy he’s always been.

Winnie the Pooh

I visited another thrift shop this week. They had a sale on kid’s clothes and I got a few things. It is amazing how many of the thrift shop items (for boys, at least) are Winnie-the-Pooh related! I got Paul’s chair a few weeks ago and now I got some jeans and a Winnie-the-Pooh outfit. If only it were Halloween, Paul would be all set!

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I’d never buy an outfit like this off the store rack, but at a thrift shop for less than $1? Sure. I think he is adorable, although this outfit makes him look more like a baby. Lately, he’s been looking a lot like a little boy, so I’m OK with that reversal!

Paul loves to play in the closets in his room; that’s what he’s doing in those pictures above.

In other news, Paul is phasing out his nap. His only nap. A few days in the last few weeks he hasn’t napped at all when I put him in his bed; other days he sleeps just one hour before awaking. But then he sleeps for more than two hours Sunday afternoon, so maybe he’s not completely done with the napping.

I am in mourning! What will I do without that precious two-hour break in the middle of the day?

Paul’s First Week (At the New House)

I have a friend who sends an email/photo update to her parents and in-laws every single Sunday, without fail. Since this website is Paul’s journal, as well as my “update” to family, I really must do a better job of taking pictures of Paul and sending them on!

General Update

  • Paul’s future occupation will probably be janitor. He loves to pick things up to throw away or put away. He loves to “sweep” with the broom.
  • Paul tumbled down a full flight of stairs this week. Mommy panicked and thought he was going to be broken — but he only had a few bruises and a rug burn on his face and back.
  • Paul hates the car wash. He screams and kicks and otherwise is very, very sad. I’m not sure why. I always loved it as a kid. But, I must remember to wash the car when Paul is not in the backseat.
  • Daddy left at night to go to airport last week (he usually leaves in the morning), so Paul and I walked him to the door. I thought Paul would have fun waving “bye bye.” He actually was quite upset and cried for a minute after I closed the door. “Bye-bye” must be too permanent; most of the people we tell “bye-bye” are strangers.

Photo Update

Paul was a ham for the camera before breakfast one morning. Paul looks more and more like a little boy and less and less like a baby.

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Paul likes to jam.