I just read Elder Hales’ talk in the August Ensign about modesty.
As I started reading, I thought, “Oh, this won’t apply to me, because I always dress modestly.” I don’t even wear knee-length skirts anymore (if I did, I wouldn’t be able to chase my crawling baby very easily!). Surely, I don’t need to read about modest apparel!
Then this paragraph stood out:
Tight pants, tight shirts, excessively baggy clothing, wrinkled apparel, and unkempt hair are not appropriate. … We should always be neat and clean, avoiding sloppiness or inappropriate casualness.
This hit me like a brick: how many times in the past ten months since my son has been born have I not ironed my shirt, not done my hair, not cared how sloppy I looked?
I used to iron my shirt when I went to work every day. I never iron my shirt anymore. I suppose I can use that fact that no one but an infant sees me as an excuse to be sloppy and unkempt. And there are always Those Days when we’re sick or my son didn’t sleep, etc. I suppose mothers can always find an excuse. But I was really intrigued by Elder Hales’ words:
Modesty is at the center of being pure and chase, both in thought and deed. … it reflects who we are and what we want to be, both here in mortality and in the eternities that will follow.
It seems to me, he’s saying modesty is not so much about making sure your skirt is long enough and your shirt isn’t showing off your navel. Modesty is a way of thinking: modesty is respect for your body.
How we fell on the inside shows on the outside. …
When we know who we are – children of God – and understand that our outward appearance affects our inward spirituality and ultimately our behavior, we show respect for God, for ourselves, and for those around us by being modest in dress and behavior.
I’m going to go comb my hair again. Apparently, that’s a part of putting on the whole armor of God.
I don’t think this means you can’t have an occasional pajama day. Sure, we don’t want to live like slobs, but there are those days that it doesn’t really matter that our hair is greasy, and we are wearing sweats all day (especially if we are home alone with little kids). Maybe I am being too lax on myself, but if I have to be done-up everyday, I might go mad.
I love your last sentence–you’re too funny! Very interesting post. I had a wonderful mother that taught us to always look our best and that a sloppy ponytail just wasn’t good enough for church. She always wanted us to look nice and be modest. Hopefully I can pass that on to my little girl!
Jessica, oh, I know we get those days! Reading this article, though, was very eye-opening for me: I just hadn’t thought of <em>modesty</em> as relating to “sloppiness” and I realize I can do better. Especially for church. Paige, I’m sure you’ll do wonderfully with your little girl!
I totally agree with this. And with Jessica’s comment. We are absolutely allowed “sweats days” but they should be the exception, not the rule. I guess I never thought of it as related to the word “modesty” but I have thought about how presenting myself nicely is a way of showing godliness. Even on my days that I’m heading to the gym I try to look semi-decent. I respect myself so I dress appropriately. And when I dress appropriately, I respect myself more!Â
My opinion is, yes, have a sweats day–many of them–but equip yourselve with flattering black yoga pants etc. so you can be comfy and functional and not slobby. Also I think we do a disservice to ourselves as mothers if we dress like slobs. It tells us and our kids that we think our job is unimportant. I like the broader idea of modesty too. But I draw the line at ironing. Thanks for the post.
Nancy, I really like the thought that how I look is “showing godliness.” Thanks for that comment! Angela, I like the reminder that our job is important, starting with how I look every day!
Once, when I was a mother of only one, he asked me “why are you so pretty today?” I was wearing a skirt becuase I had a church event to attend, and my three year old son noticed the difference! Hummm. Mom
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