Tuesday, I had my 36 week appointment. I waited two hours and then I saw a doctor for 5 minutes. Usually, it’s a midwife. But because I’m 36 weeks, I got to see a doctor. (Remember–I’m in the public health system, so that’s how it works.) My fundal height was 2 cm small, which is still in the “normal” category. I’ve been 2 or 3 cm smaller than “normal” all along. All the same, the doctor ordered a CTG, AFI, and S/D just to make sure all was right. He wrote IUGR? on the request form. 😕

I went back to the hospital first thing on Wednesday morning (good thing I went early–I didn’t wait at all).

I didn’t know what those acronyms meant, so I looked them up. CTG is a cardiotocography test to check the baby’s heartbeat. It also measures contractions when the woman is in labor. Good news! I’m not in labor. Other good news: baby’s heartbeat is completely normal. So normal, in fact, that the woman administering the test told me to give the baby a stern talking to so the heart rate might change a little bit.

AFI is the Amniotic Fluid Index. They check it through an ultrasound, looking at the pockets of amniotic fluid they can see. (By the way, since I had an ultrasound they could confirm: it’s definitely a boy!) I measured in at 9. Average is 5-25, so Paul’s got plenty of cushioning. S/D is something to do with the blood pulsing through the cord. I measured at 1.7, a lower percentile, I guess, but fine. Don’t really know what it means beyond that. IUGR means Intrauterine Growth Restriction. I guess the doctor was worried that if I’m not getting “big enough” that means that the baby’s growth is restricted. Since I’m still getting bigger each week, just consistently smaller than “normal,” I think we can rule that out.

It’s interesting that I showed up for these tests and told the technician that I’m 36 weeks and then she commented on how small I am. Isn’t that why I was there in the first place? Anyway, as mentioned, all is well for the baby. 🙂

The interesting thing about my day was the thoughts I had as I traveled on the train to the hospital. I was thinking about these tests and the possibility that something might be wrong. Hypothetically, if I didn’t have enough amniotic fluid or if the baby were in distress, I’d be rushed in to an emergency cesarean. 😮

As I thought that on the train, I realized that those minutes could be my last minutes being pregnant. I could very well have a baby in a few more hours, born just four weeks early (I was 3 1/2 weeks early). That might have been the end of the big swollen belly, the end of kicks in my ribs, the end of my waddle walk. I wouldn’t wake up in the night with baby kicks just as I was getting comfortable. I wouldn’t have to lean over when I sit through 3 hours of church because my back aches. True, I’d have a baby waking me at night and all the aches of major surgery, but I wouldn’t have the baby inside of me.

That made me so sad.

Last night, every time I woke up to a kick, every time I got up to use the toilet because baby was dancing on my bladder, I felt so happy. I get to enjoy him inside of me for a while longer! 😀 How great is that?!

I really love being pregnant. Don’t get me wrong, I am so very excited to meet this little guy when he comes. Maybe I’m just not as uncomfortable as other women because I’m “small.” But, to be honest, I really like all the belly aches and sore muscles and bones. I like the fact that I have a huge belly and I waddle when I walk. It means a baby is inside of me! I like constant movement when I’m just trying to get comfortable. It reminds me time and again that I’m going to be a mother, that God is sending me one of His chosen spirits. This baby has a personality, he has a spirit, and he has a calling in life that only Heavenly Father knows at this time.

It is a huge responsibility to be a mother and to teach this precious spirit. But I’m so excited. And I feel so blessed that I have the blessing of carrying this baby in my own body, feeding him through my body with the food that I eat, and nurturing him naturally in a perfect cocoon just the right size (though quickly becoming too small). What a blessing it is to be a woman and to carry a child!

I am so blessed! And yet I only get four more weeks or so of this. 🙁 I guess I should it expect it to get very much more uncomfortable in the next month. Many people say you’re ready for the baby to come because you’re so uncomfortable. I’m not there yet. I’m still loving it!