I have written a number of posts in my head in the past month, but none of them have made it to this webpage yet. Before I get to those, however, there is something that I’d really like to write.

The subject in sacrament meeting yesterday was hope and joy in the gospel, or something along those lines.

(To preface this post, I admit I only heard about half of the talk because I was in and out with Paul, who hit his head right in the middle of the meeting and was rather touchy. This is a reflection on the part of the talk that I did hear.)

The second speaker began by telling about seven different people he knew in his life that had committed suicide. (Yes, seven. That seems rather high to me.) Then he said (and I paraphrase), “On the other hand, I don’t know of anyone in the church that has committed suicide. That’s because the gospel brings so much joy…. If anyone here has those thoughts of suicide, I urge you to pray them away.”

Then he went on to talk about how the gospel makes everything all better when things are hard. Because it brings us joy.

I was in shock. I could not believe he said “pray them away” from the pulpit! He revealed not just his own ignorance of mental illness but also the gospel.

Mental illnesses, such as depression, are not prayed away.

Sure, prayer can help you when you are depressed or sad. But, while I’m not a mental health expert, I do know that real mental illness in the form of severe, suicidal depression is not solved completely by prayer. It’s like telling someone with cancer to “pray it away.” Talk about setting yourself up for failure!

It is okay to have real feelings. The gospel brings joy, but it does not erase real struggles and disease. Sometimes prayer is not enough. Saying that does not mean I don’t have faith. Accepting that does not mean that you don’t have enough faith. It means you accept the reality of (1) mental illness and (2) the gospel plan of Heavenly Father. Prayer might help ease depression, but it might not. If you are seriously feeling suicidal, get help!

Further, the gospel is not a “cure all” to real disease and real struggle. Members of the church get depressed just as non-members get depressed. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if Mormon women (particularly stay-at-home Mormon mothers) struggle with more depression than non-Mormon women, simply because they feel the urge to be “perfect” and they think every wrong choice their children make is a reflection on them. (Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6) Or because Relief Society seems to be full of apparently “perfect” mothers with five children when they are obviously struggling with their two children. Or because their husband is in the bishopric (or working many many hours a day or traveling a lot, etc.) and they are raising the child(ren) essentially alone. Or because they have financial problems and tithing is really really hard to pay this month….and so forth.

The reasons Mormon women feel depressed are just as valid as the reasons non-Mormon women feel depressed. Being a member of the true church of Jesus Christ on the earth does not give you a “Get Out of Depression Free” card. You have to face things that come, just as everyone else on earth does.

In case you don’t believe me, here’s Alexander B. Morrison:

It is important to understand, however, that happiness does not imply the absence of adversity. Every individual experiences temptation, opposition, and trials that test faith and endurance: “For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things” (2 Ne. 2:11).

This is what I wished the Bishop said at the end of the meeting  (This what I would have liked to have said, at least.):

I want to add my testimony that the gospel adds joy. The good news of the gospel is that because of Jesus Christ, we all can have hope. We know we can all be forgiven when we do wrong. We can all be strengthened when we have discouragement.

Besides that, I know that the gospel also provides a wonderful support system. Sometimes our struggles seem to get the best of us. Turn to your home teachers or visiting teachers if you need help. If you don’t feel comfortable turning to them, turn to me [your bishop]. Prayer can help us find joy in our life, but sometimes we need a lifeline too. The church can help you. I want to reiterate what Brother ____ said. If you are feeling depressed and having thoughts of suicide, certainly pray, but also come talk to me [your bishop] or a mental health professional. We can work through depression together.

LDS-approved articles about depression and mental illness from the last four years: (Note: None of these say “pray it away” as the main tool.)

• Myths about Mental Illness by Alexander B. Morrison
• Bipolar Disorder: My Lessons in Love, Hope, and Peace
• Overcoming Feelings of Inadequacy by David S. Baxter
• He Heals the Heavy Laden by Dallin H. Oaks
• Broken Things to Mend by Jeffrey R. Holland
• The Spiritual Component of Healing by Alexander B. Morrison
• What Does It Mean to Be Perfect? by Cecil O. Samuelson
• Gospel Topics: Suicide
• www.ldsfamilyservices.org

I realize that the brother who spoke is imperfect, just as I am. His sacrament meeting talk is imperfect, just as my talk will be imperfect. This gospel is a gospel of self-improvement, and thanks to the wonderful Atonement of Christ, one of hope and progression. But when he said what he said, I realized that this ignorance to mental illness is something I’d like to fight against. My blog seems like a perfect place for doing so. Thanks for listening.