Category Archives: Happenings

Silence

It’s hard to start something up again after such a long break. I have nine months of family pictures that need to be stored in this online journal. They are just sitting there on my hard drive, waiting to be put in chronological order. Plus, things have been happening! My baby is almost two and a half. He’s talking in complete sentences, most of the time. He says the most adorable things. He looks adorable, and he’s in this perfect in-between stage that makes staying home with him a delight.

True, Paul is a joy. The majority of the time, he is pleasant and laughing. Sometimes, he screams and throws a tantrum (especially on the increasingly frequent no nap days). It doesn’t bother me now, at this stage. I can understand what he says, and I know what he wants: I just can’t always give him what he wants.  This is so much better than the 18-month-old stage, when he screamed and I had no idea why.

So, why am I visiting this neglected blog once again tonight? Well, Ryan is stuck in Manhattan for the second unplanned night, thanks to NYC’s huge snow storm (20.9 inches in Central Park in the last two days). Yesterday, his afternoon flight was canceled. He changed his flight to this afternoon. This morning, that was canceled. He changed his flight to tomorrow morning. Do you see a pattern here?

(To keep things in perspective, this is only the second time in his nine and a half years of 85% traveling that he has been literally unable to get a flight home from where he is. The other time was 9/11. He was in the air and the plane was landed in Ohio. He rented a car and drove back to Chicago.)

But this weekend’s snowstorm is only the icing on the “we’re sick of this” cake. Ryan had told his boss earlier in the week that he is actively looking for a job. No, he didn’t quit, but he was explaining that there was a reason he did not want to stay in NYC on Friday, as they wanted him to. At any rate, the fact that he’s stuck there, and has to return again on Monday, really and truly sucks. Sorry for the strong language. It does.

We’ve been pondering and searching for another job since we returned to the USA in August 2008. Ryan had some promising interviews that fall, but nothing panned out. (Maybe you recall, but that was the fall that the economy suddenly tanked.) In 2009, Ryan kept looking. Then, this month and last, he’s been working on it in all his free time. It definitely time. For example, Saturday, he was up before dawn, searching and applying for jobs until after 8 p.m. I only wish there was something I could do to help. There have been some leads, so we’re hopeful something will pan out soon. But we’d appreciate any extra prayers that you can send our way.

I have cleaned the bathrooms. I’ve vacuumed and swept the floors. Maybe getting the house ready will speed my husband home!

I called this post “silence” because that is how I feel about my daily life sometimes, and that is why this blog has been silent for so many months. Most days, I go see my friends or they come here for play dates. And this morning my friend was kind enough to step up as a last minute babysitter so I could still go spend my two hours volunteering at the library. How I love that time of talking to adults! Every morning and every evening, I also talk to Ryan. I do get much-needed socialization in person. In fact, it’s just the right amount of out of the house time: I’m naturally an introvert so it becomes exhausting to me. I think two book clubs and a few plays dates a week is enough for me.

But I also spend some time most days responding and discussing books with other readers online via my book blog. That life is a complete non-baby life, and it really helps save my sanity: I know I can finish the day with some thought that doesn’t revolve around best potty training methods. (I guess that’s why I haven’t been blogging on this site: blogging four or five times a week at my books site is time-consuming enough, and this site would only be about more potty training pleas for help).

But the bottom line is, at the end of the day, our home is silent. The floorboards creak, the furnace turns on, my son mumbles in his sleep. But the main sound is silence.

This is why I’m praying that my husband can come home, and stay home. I long for his snores once the silence of night sets in. The silence is getting a bit loud.

Toilet Training Success Stories Wanted

Given Paul’s interest in Baby Doll’s toilet training, I’m considering beginning his own toilet training come the first of February. But I’d love to know your ideas for helping it go well. No promises I’ll try your method, but please share away!

Of course, that would assume there are people still reading my bog after months of silence. If not, I understand. My life is only so interesting, as this post demonstrates.

Baby’s Doll’s Toilet Training and Other Adventures

My son has a doll. You met him in December in an adorable picture last month. I think it’s about time I share his story.

Baby Doll joined our family back in May. I attended a local garage sale with Paul in tow, and when Paul saw the doll on the edge of a display blanket, he immediately was taken in: “Baby! Baby!” One dollar later, and Baby Doll had joined our family. We took him home, changed his clothes (because the pink was a bit too girly for Baby Doll’s preferences), and Paul promptly forgot about him.

Throughout the summer, Baby Doll occasionally appeared. “Baby!” Paul would say, rocking the doll for a few minutes before dropping him on the floor.

In early November, something changed. Paul started walking around with Baby Doll. We had not at that point given the doll a name (after all, Paul mostly ignored it) but Paul had no problems calling it Baby Doll or Doll. “Doll” does rhyme with “Paul” so it probably seemed natural for Paul to have a little friend with a name almost like his own.

Around Thanksgiving, Paul made a new discovery: if he pulled off the clothes, Baby Doll did not have a diaper on! Oh no! He was very upset, and we had to add a diaper so he wouldn’t be so upset. I think Paul had entered a new stage of his own awareness at that point, so it seemed appropriate.

But a few weeks after that, Baby Doll entered yet another stage of life: toilet training. Paul occassionally sits on the toilet. Sometimes he’s excited to do so. Sometimes he is successful. Sometimes immediately after wetting his diaper he runs up to me saying “Toilet! Toilet!” But he has not been interested in being “toilet trained.”

Baby Doll, however, has been toilet training since December. Some days Doll forgets completely and stays in the toy chest. Other days, Baby Doll must sit on the toilet every five minutes all day long. Paul is the spearhead of this endeavor. Baby Doll is always successful, even sitting on every toilet in the house every five minutes for four hours at a time.

It’s a very rewarding thing to help Baby Doll. Paul loves to cheer “yeay!” when Baby Doll let the pee into the toilet. I always ask “do you want to sit on the toilet too, Paul?” The answer is normally “No.” But I’m feeling hopeful.

Paul likes to change Baby Doll’s clothes. This began when Baby Doll’s other clothes fell in the toilet and I had to go find the box of baby clothes to change him (because, of course, Paul was upset that baby doll had no clothes on). Paul gets upset when his little 3-year-old nursery friend comes to visit and takes off all of Baby Doll’s clothes (and diaper!!). He cries and wants Baby Doll back. Then, of course, he forgets about Baby Doll for days.

Paul realized a few weeks ago that Baby Doll has marker on his head. He doesn’t understand why we can’t wash it off, since all of our markers are washable.

Baby Doll doesn’t have a different name. As I said, “Doll” rhymes with “Paul.” Any name at this point would be bit affected, I think.

So, how do I take Baby Doll’s toilet training and make it Paul’s toilet training? I’m calling for success stories at my website. I’d love to hear your ideas!

(Nearly) Wordless Wednesday: Snow Day

Day one in the snow: 30 degrees, 1/4 inch. Running, playing, delighted. Inside after 30 minutes (and kicking and screaming) for a cup of cocoa. Out again in the afternoon for more.

Day two in the snow: Awoke saying “Play! Snow!” 10 degrees, 4 inches. Overwhelmed, cold, wet, unsure what to do, even on the top of his play area. Asked to go inside with a whine.

Whew. I was afraid we’d be outside twice a day. Mommy was cold on day one!

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photo taken December 9, 2009

(P.S. fun snow day = sinus headache, cough, and cold this week. Poor boy!)

How I Save the Day by Paul

“I want toast for breakfast,” says Mommy.

“By the way, there’s no more peanut butter,” says Daddy.

“There is peanut butter in food storage in the basement,” says Mommy.

“Well, I didn’t want to go down there,” says Daddy.

I am wearing my FIRE CHIEF hat. I can save the day!

I go to the basement.  Mommy turns on the light for me. She thinks I’m going to go play! She does not know I will save the day.

I walk downstairs like a real fire chief. I am getting really good. Mommy says she can’t watch me because she thinks I’ll fall. I haven’t fallen down the stairs for a few days now!

I open the door to the Dark part of the basement. I see the peanut butter on the second shelf, and I have to reach for it. Then I crawl back upstairs with it. It is hard. The peanut butter jar is big and awkward!

Mommy sees me and is very surprised. She didn’t know I could save the day!

Daddy says, “Thank you, Paul! Good job!”

“Oh dear,” says Mommy. “We need a child safety lock on that door!”

“Yes,” says Daddy.

Birthday Boy!

Paul began his second birthday with a request to use the toilet (“Toilet! Toilet!”). While he’s rarely successful, I’m always eager to encourage this new obsession. I think it bodes well for the next year.

We’re low-key birthday people around our house, so I have tried to avoid making it a huge deal and spending money unnecessarily. In fact, so far, including the cost of the cake, I’ve spent less than $15, and Paul has loved his celebrations!! I think it just goes to show that kids don’t need a lot; I certainly did not want any more big toys right now. That said, I rarely buy Paul anything (thanks to our recently being added to my friend’s “hand me down” list!) and he’s a great kid, so he deserves something. I did give him some gifts on Sunday, but I know he loves stores, and he loves opening presents. (Apparently, he didn’t need any instruction this time around! Sunday, he was the present opening pro!)

So we went back to Dollar General today, and then I came home and wrapped everything up. He picked out a new car. I got him some more play-doh, too, because he’s really taken to that, and I also got some of those beads you put in the water that grow into shapes. I’m so excited for his bath tonight! He loves cars and trucks and trains!

And then I got him some magnetic numbers for the fridge. He brought me the number 8 saying “EIGHT! EIGHT!” and I thought he was a genius!

And then he brough me the number 4, saying the same thing. Ah well. At least he knows EIGHT is a number!

I did give him some fun things the other day too and I’ll talk about his other birthday “parties” in a later post. (I’ll try to be good at getting things up!)

So far, one of his favorite parts of the birthday celebrations is the cupcakes. He ate two on Sunday. Then Monday he saw them on the shelf and pretended like he was blowing out candles (yes, he did) to ask for more. We had one each Monday, Tuesday, and today. I may let him have a second today, since after all, it is his actual birthday.

What will he do next week when I’m not giving him wrapped up toys and letting him eat sweets?! The poor kid will be in withdrawl!

Has it really been a month since I updated this page? Ooops! I have pictures of Carl’s August wedding to post, I have (a few) pictures from my trip to Utah to post, I have some pictures of Paul’s birthday celebration from Sunday to post. I’ll try to get to them in the next few days.

Easing into Fall and Saying Goodbye to A Slow Summer

Now that I’ve finally finished scrubbing out the refrigerator, I can come back and tell you how much I love fall.

This summer was great, don’t get me wrong. I felt we were busier than normal, even without a change from school to no school. This year’s summer weather was wonderfully mild, and Paul didn’t fuss on the days when I said, “Sorry, but it’s just too hot today. We’re staying inside.” (I have a feeling that won’t work so well next year.)

But now the weather is back to a reasonable average, and I just love to sit in the (pleasantly cool) sun and watch the leaves fall from the trees.

Today, the weather is staying in low 80s and the coming week has a perfect partially sunny forecast of 70s and upper 60s. It’s cool enough to walk to the library without dying of misery and perspiration. It’s cool enough to play in the back yard for extended periods of time. It’s cool enough to sit on our deck and eat dinner.

I love my yard. The landscaping keeps the neighbors in their own yard, so even when they had a party and football game the other night, our yard was still blessedly private and quiet. We had our own dinner outside too. I love privacy: good fences truly do make good neighbors (and we don’t even have fences; just perfect yards!!).

In the fall, I go to the library and it’s not overrun with noisy, cranky kids. In the fall, I go to the park and there aren’t any big kids sharing sand with Paul (I hate sand). In the fall, I can call up my friends and schedule play dates again, since the big kids are back in school.

In retrospect, I realize now how much I didn’t finish over those crazy weeks called “summer.” Why did they feel so crazy? It seemed all the people we met with were on “hyper” mode, trying to fit things in to the short time.

We didn’t do any fun “activities,” per se, and our budget kept us close to home (until we finally made it to Utah in September!!). But Paul and I both had a great summer all the same. Paul played with his cousins a few times, we visited Grandma and Grandpa in Naperville a few times, and we did little things together, just the two of us.

I’m realized I’m just not an activity girl. I’d rather sit and chat with people than “do” something “exciting.”

As I ponder the fact that I’m a sitter and not a “do-er,” I realize that my son may miss out on some things. He’s not going to have memories of busy childhood summers. Ever. I know I’m not going to drag him around all over the place next year either. We’ll do the special things that he loves: playing on the swing set, going to the library, going to the petting zoo and park, playing with friends, going on picnics. Maybe next year we’ll find some new favorite thing to do together. But I’m not a “crazy summer activities” Mom and I never will be. I like to keep life simple.

Paul is the happiest, least cranky kid I know, and I sincerely believe that a regular nap and bedtime schedule helps him to be so. In order for him to get his sleep, we sometimes have to say “no thanks” to some of those “crazy” activities in order to be home by sleep time. And you know what? I really like it that way.

As he gets closer to age two, Paul is becoming more independent. He resists obeying, and he’s begun to have screaming fits when I misunderstand what he says or when I decline his requests. The next few months of autumn will be interesting as I adjust to this new personality he’s developing. And yet, he’s still, overall, an incredibly happy, well-adjusted boy.

I suspect he’ll turn out just fine, our non-exciting summer be darned.

Paul and Cowboy Joe

Paul hasn’t been particularly interested in Cowboy Joe in the past months. I haven’t been encouraging him to play with Cowboy Joe — Joe’s a bit fragile as he’s all knit, and some seams are coming out already, even without regular play.

Last week, though, Paul was holding Cowboy Joe and pointing out various recognizable things: “eyes!” “ears!” “feet!”

I went to get the camera and by the time I got back, of course, Paul turned in to a big ham. He just loves to smile for the camera! Cowboy Joe was mostly forgotten, I’m sorry to say. I think Paul was trying to get Joe out of the picture so he’d keep the limelight to himself!

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A Little Chef

I prepare breakfast granola one or two mornings a week, and Paul loves to help! He often gets up from breakfast and runs to his stool saying “cook! cook!” I found a pre-schooler cookbook and I’ve been taking it’s advice to heart: it’s not the end product that matters to a young cook, it’s the action things that they like.

Paul loves to help. From cracking eggs, to stirring, to eating the coconut flakes off the counter, he loves to cook with Mommy.

Here he is helping me cook a little pizza two weeks ago.

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And then videos are the most fun!

P.S. I think Paul is smiling a cheesy smile and sitting still in the second video because he thought I was taking a regular picture, not a video.