Category Archives: Deep Thoughts

Introducing…Curious George

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baby1[1]baby2[1] baby3[1]

We’re happy to announce that baby #2 will be joining our family! Attached are some ultrasound pictures of the little leap frog from August 4, age 10 weeks. I am now 12 weeks 4 days along.

I have been absent from the blog because baby is busy making me sick and tired, as well as getting us all excited for the future. I should just leave the description of my summer at “sick and tired.” I’ve been feeling bad since about 5 weeks along, but I’m starting to feel human again!

Estimated due date: February 29, 2012. Grandma and Grandpa S. nicknamed the baby “Kermit” since I”ve been calling him/her my little leap frog. However, Paul is adamant that baby’s name is Curious George.

“That’s a really good name for baby boys and for monkeys!” he says.

I ask what the baby’s name should be if it’s a girl and he appears stumped. (He does say frequently he wants a baby sister.) Nevertheless, he’s busy calling baby “Curious George,” so until we know if it’s a boy or a girl, that name will be the name around our house!

Paul really likes the idea that there is a camera that can see inside mommy’s belly; he really wants one for Christmas so he can see inside his belly too. Maybe, he says, he’ll be a doctor when he grows up because he really wants that cool camera!

Since the ultrasound, he’s understood the concept of a baby in Mommy’s belly a little more concretely. The other day, he told me the baby was crying; he went and got a pretend bottle of milk and “fed” it to Curious George through Mommy’s belly button. And then yesterday, he let baby Curious George take a turn in the game we were playing. (He yelled through my belly, “Do you want to take a turn?”) He helped move the piece after baby said, “yes.”

Yes, he’ll be a wonderful big brother come February or March!

What have you been up to this summer?

Unwrapping Your Children

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Well, about these girls. They came as they were, unique, wonderful spirits and my blessing was to just unwrap the package to see who they were and to help guide them into who they could be.  I didn’t ever feel like I had to mold them or make them into somebody different than who they were because they were so great when they came. It was a fun discovery to learn who they were. They are different, different people, but they are delightful fun daughters and I always enjoyed our children.

Julie B. Beck on her two daughters

I want to say that about my own children. I never want my son to think I don’t appreciate his own personality. I don’t want him to think that I expect him to be something he is not. That would be a painful thing, to feel like a disappointment. I don’t want my son to feel he disappoints me for being himself.

This means I need to never talk about his faults, or things I disapprove of, in front other people. I need to avoid criticism when he does things differently than I would do them. I need to make sure I don’t manipulate him into doing something I want, when his personality would do something differently. I need to always remember that he came to me a precious spirit, with his own personality. He will make choices different from those that I’d make, but that’s a part of his precious personality.

As his mother, I can help guide him into who he can be. I can help him discover his potential.

I don’t need to mold him: I need to unwrap him.

To listen to the entire conversation between Sheri Dew and Julie B. Beck and her two daughters, visit Mormon Channel.

How it Works

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Mom: “I’m going to make dinner!”

Paul: “What are we having today?”

Mom: “Spaghetti.”

Paul: “No. I want Macaroni and Cheese.”

Mom: “We’re having Spaghetti tonight. Maybe we’ll have Macaroni and Cheese tomorrow.”

Paul: “No, Mommy, this is how it works. I tell you what I want to eat, and then you cook it.”

The Perfect Age

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As we were driving to church the other day, I was struck by how perfect Paul’s age is right now. Although he sometimes has tantrums and he’s certainly opinionated, overall, it’s so delightful being his mother and seeing his blossoming into a human being, and not just a baby. I need to do a better job of recording the adorable and perfect age things Paul says and does. I am going to miss this age so very much!

Imagination

If he wants something, he simply creates it. He’s had a hard time grasping the concept of Christmas being a very long time from now. So instead he creates his own: “Did you know that tomorrow it is Christmas underground?” (His imaginary friends live underground.)

If I can’t play with him, suddenly the imaginary doorbell rings and there is an imaginary friend to play with him. And then there is the fact that he can create anything, you name it.

Games

Paul is in a serious board game streak right now. He loves them. He loves following rules and he loves making up rules. His turn usually takes him about five minutes, so I read a book waiting for my turn. Seriously. But he’s learning about taking turns, about winning and losing, and about counting and money (Monopoly). He loves to play games.

And the greatest thing is that he loves to make up games all the time. “Let’s race!” he says when it’s time to get dressed. “Let’s find shapes!” he said as we were driving to church. And when he said he saw “funny ovals” I was at a loss as to what he was talking about. “I see a lot of them!” he clarified. Cars, it turns out, are funny ovals.

Stories

Along with his great imagination comes his impressive ability to tell stories. I am reminded of my creative story writing when I was six and seven years old. Somehow, I lost that urge to write, to record creative inventions that I imagined in my mind. I hope I can nurture Paul’s story telling abilities so he doesn’t lose it. I’ll be so sad when he grows up too much for stories. I hope that never happens.

Learning

The other day, he brought me the guide book I had about NYC and said, “Mommy, this is about New York!” and I was amazed that not only could he read and understand it, but that he knows New York City is a place, that’s it’s far from here, that I went there. And I know most three year olds don’t read yet, but even without the reading, I love watching his discovery of new things. We’re learning about the moon and about outerspace this week and I love watching his fascination as we read a picture book.

Honesty and Sincerity

Sometimes I don’t appreciate his honesty. (“Yuck! I do not like this soup!”) But other times I find it so sweet.

“I love you,” I say.

“I already know that!” says Paul.

Reflections

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  • In Paul’s primary talk, he said, “Jesus rose for us.” He then, in a different context, saw the  picture of the Risen Lord appearing to Mary and said, “Look, Mommy! Jesus rose-ing!”
  • Normally during Sacrament Meeting, Paul sings “mah blah blah mah!” as loudly as he can in time with the music, as he or I points to the words on the page. Today, the speaker introduced the song, “Behold, the Great Redeemer Die!” Paul sang along with the correct words for the first two lines. I was amazed: he knows that song. I know that is because we go to church every Sunday.
  • Regularly, Paul stops playing to say, “Mommy, I say unto you, I love you!” This is how I know he really does hear the scripture study we do together, even though it seems he’s not paying attention.
  • Paul is regularly teaching me a lesson in humility and generosity, from his sharing his fruit snacks to his outpouring of love. From his example, I better understand the Savior’s injunction to be as a little child. I’m to approach life with sincerity, to love and give without thoughts of “scarcity” and selfishness, and to be honest in my thoughts, words and deeds. (Although I should mention that Paul has learned to lie, he is still for the most part a very truthful, loving, sensitive child.)

Paul’s First Primary Talk

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The subject Paul was given for his talk was “Jesus Christ is my Savior and Redeemer.” We got our favorite pictures of Jesus from the gospel art kit, Mommy put it in order, and to help herself, she wrote the words of Paul’s talk on a paper on the back. To her surprise, Paul was reading the words on the back. Here is Paul’s talk for Sunday.

We watched this video together and Paul said, “Mommy, I want to follow Jesus.” Yes, dear. I do too!

Eminent Women Redux

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Remember how last year when I went to Nauvoo I was a model for a painter? He was painting the eminent men and women who appeared to President Woodruff in the St. George Temple. I became incredibly interested in this event, and although I haven’t thought of it every day, the event is something I have recalled a few times in the past months.

This week I was reading the poetry of Anne Bradstreet. I wrote about Anne Bradstreet today on my reading blog. Anne Bradstreet was a Puritan, a dedicated wife, and a free-thinker, as she balanced being a mother to eight with being a pioneer in a 1630s New England settlement and a talented poet in her own right.

“I am obnoxious to each carping tongue
Who says my hand a needle better fits.” (“The Prologue” stanza 5)

Yet, given the fact that she was a woman of faith, a Puritan woman at that, she also has numerous poems about faith. Just like you and me, she struggled to come to peace with her life struggles and her faith in the beyond. Take this sample from a poem she wrote just after her house burned down.

There’s wealth enough; I need no more.
Farewell, my pelf; farewell, my store.
The world no longer let me love;
My hope and Treasure lies above. (“Verses on the Burning of My House”)

Or maybe these thoughts of faith as she suffered from insomnia one night:

By night when others soundly slept
And hath at once both ease and Rest,
My waking eyes were open kept
And so to lie I found it best.

I sought him whom my Soul did Love,
With tears I sought him earnestly.
He bow’d his ear down from Above.
In vain I did not seek or cry.

My hungry Soul he fill’d with Good;
He in his Bottle put my tears,
My smarting wounds washt in his blood,
And banisht thence my Doubts and fears.

What to my Saviour shall I give
Who freely hath done this for me?
I’ll serve him here whilst I shall live
And Loue him to Eternity. (“By Night While Other’s Slept”)

At any rate, as I read her struggles of faith, I felt the same things I felt when I have been doing family history. I felt she was right next to me as I read her poems of faith. I felt that the veil was incredibly thin. And I had a distinct impression that she was one of those eminent women who appeared to Wilford Woodruff.

I looked on all the sites I looked on last time. I could not find Anne Dudley or Anne Bradstreet on any of the lists. So I looked her up in New Family Search. I found that her baptisms were done in September 1879 in the St. George Temple. It was two years and a half after the eminent men and women appeared to Wilford Woodruff. Maybe she was not one of those who appeared on that day in 1877, but somehow her name got put in the system at the same time. (Those were the first baptisms for the dead performed in a temple, as the St. George Temple was the first operating temple.)

Bradstreet’s poems show that she already believed the gospel two hundred years before it was restored. Such good poetry. Read it at Anne Bradstreet.com.

What are you reading for National Poetry Month?

By the way, can you tell which face is based on mine in Bedard’s image? I don’t know for sure, of course, but there’s one that I think looks rather like me. The painting is almost done and so beautiful! See here.

Guess What Song Paul Is Learning in Primary?

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As he was eating breakfast the other day, Paul stopped mid bite and said, “Mom! I know who I am!”

I congratulated him. Then a few bites later. “Mom! I know God’s plan!”

Aw, how sweet!

He also told me “I know who you are, too. You are my Mommy. I know that because I love you.”

He also has been closing his prayers “In the name of Jesus Christ of latter-day Saints.” Combined with his recent confusion as to who to pray to, his prayers have been a bit confused lately.

 

2011 Goal Number 2: Do Family History Work

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I was walking the dirty and crowded back streets of Greater Manchester, England, in the summer of 1885, searching for them. Then I remembered their address, and asked a passerby for directions. I was a strange sight in my modern day clothes, but I hadn’t had time to prepare for my journey: I didn’t know I would be time traveling, after all.

As I approached the small cellar, I saw two men approaching, and I knew it was James (senior) and his brother Martin. James was a bit wary of me, but when I’d explained that I was his descendant, come to visit from 2011, he was willing to answer my questions. I asked him question after question, and I’m sorry to say that I cannot at this time remember what I asked, let alone the answers he gave me! Just one question I remember: why hadn’t he gone yet to New York looking for Margaret? She was his wife, after all!

As I tried to find my way out of the time warp, Margaret Ann and her father were starting to pack their bags. They said it would take a few weeks to get enough cash together, but they were ready to go to New York and find Margaret. They realized they’d waited too long.

The streets got darker as I stumbled along in the maze, and suddenly I was awake, Paul asking me for help with something this worldly.

It was just a dream. Upon waking, I knew immediately that I’d had some of the details wrong. James and his children did not live in the cellar at Back Acton Street: that was the address of Thomas Simmons and his family during the 1851 and 1861 censuses. What was his address in 1881? I should look it up for the next time.

Remember how I claimed that this year I’d make New Year’s Resolutions after I’ve accomplished something? I’ve been meaning to tell you about my resolution number 2, but every time I sit down to write about it, I get distracted on Ancestry.com or some other site. Tonight I’m determined to get it down for your sakes.

Saturday, January 1, 2011, my Grandma, Helen Ruth Wilson Benac, peacefully passed away. I shared some thoughts in January on my reading blog about the power of reading her personal history.

What I didn’t mention on that blog was that on Sunday, the day after her passing, I began to feel like I was supposed to be doing family history work. “I don’t know how to do that!”I told myself, shrugging it off.

I had tried for a few weeks when Paul was newborn, and I never seemed to have enough time to get into the groove before he’d need my attention again. In Australia, I had nearby access to a family history center, but I still didn’t make much progress. I had heard about James Simon and his wife Margaret’s mysterious disappearance, and I was fascinated by it. But I decided that there was a season for everything, and family history work was for those who had more time than I did.

This January, after Grandma’s passing, the urge to revisit James and Margaret’s story persisted for weeks. I kept thinking about Grandma, and I kept thinking about Margaret’s story. Finally, in the middle of January, on a Tuesday morning after I left my son at preschool, I stopped by the local family history center and said, “What do I do first?”

The librarian showed me how to correct errors on New Family Search, how to add information I’ve found, and how to start discussions. I left the Family History library praying that somehow I’d find Margaret’s mother, because I was certain the two of them wanted to be found. After just one hour of studying Margaret’s name and her mother’s blank line, I felt a spiritual bond with them.

I called my mom to say how excited I was about the progress, and a few days later, my brother Frank sent me an email saying he was working on these same people and maybe we should collaborate. Suddenly, there are three of us working on finding this family extensively.

It has been delightful, time consuming, exhausting, frustrating, exciting, boring, and over everything else successful.

Thanks to our combined research (and some funding from Mom and an ancestry subscription from Frank!) we’ve discovered Margaret Shield’s mother: Ann Dunlope. (See Margaret’s birth certificate). We’ve found so many more than just Ann, because we didn’t know much about these people. We have more than 20 new names to take to the temple for baptisms or marriages. Just a quick rundown: Margaret’s father is Patrick and she has two younger brothers (and a sister we knew about). James comes from a family of not three children but ten, and we have names for at least five of them, plus his parents (although their work is almost done!). We know when James and his family came to England from Ireland, and we may have found that James was actually born in England after their arrival. We’ve found that Margaret may have been married before she married James, that what we thought was the oldest child may have been from another marriage, and that our ancestor Margaret Ann (who was born to Margaret and James) was born a year before the two of them were married. In fact, Margaret may have been a bigamist, a thought that makes me, a reader of Victorian literature, rather excited to discover just what really happens at the end of this real-life family novel.

Each answer we get from the English records only opens up another set of questions.

Although my mind has been mainly full of Margaret Sheilds and James Simon and their children and their siblings, as I’ve thought of my open-ended goal to “do family history work” this year, I keep thinking of Ann Dunlop. To me, she is the image of success, for we have found Margaret’s mother. That is what Margaret wanted me to find back in January. As I left the family history center that first day, I felt Margaret’s presence along with her unknown mother’s as they asked me to find her so they could be sealed together.

Date for that sealing to be determined. I keep hoping that we’ll find a few more names this week.

I am the daughter of Ellen Margaret Benac, who is the daughter of Helen Ruth Wilson, who is the daughter of John Wilson, who is the son of Margaret Ann Simon (and Charles Edwin Wilson), who is the daughter of Margaret Shields (and James Simon) who is the daughter of Ann Dunlop and Patrick Shields.

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If you are a part of the family, log in to the New Family Search and you’ll see it for yourself. If any of you, especially those related to James and Margaret, want to be in on our email discussions, please let me know in the comments and I can send you our emails. Sometimes I send five in an evening, just so you know.