Author Archives: rebecca

Unwrapping Your Children

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Well, about these girls. They came as they were, unique, wonderful spirits and my blessing was to just unwrap the package to see who they were and to help guide them into who they could be.  I didn’t ever feel like I had to mold them or make them into somebody different than who they were because they were so great when they came. It was a fun discovery to learn who they were. They are different, different people, but they are delightful fun daughters and I always enjoyed our children.

Julie B. Beck on her two daughters

I want to say that about my own children. I never want my son to think I don’t appreciate his own personality. I don’t want him to think that I expect him to be something he is not. That would be a painful thing, to feel like a disappointment. I don’t want my son to feel he disappoints me for being himself.

This means I need to never talk about his faults, or things I disapprove of, in front other people. I need to avoid criticism when he does things differently than I would do them. I need to make sure I don’t manipulate him into doing something I want, when his personality would do something differently. I need to always remember that he came to me a precious spirit, with his own personality. He will make choices different from those that I’d make, but that’s a part of his precious personality.

As his mother, I can help guide him into who he can be. I can help him discover his potential.

I don’t need to mold him: I need to unwrap him.

To listen to the entire conversation between Sheri Dew and Julie B. Beck and her two daughters, visit Mormon Channel.

How it Works

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Mom: “I’m going to make dinner!”

Paul: “What are we having today?”

Mom: “Spaghetti.”

Paul: “No. I want Macaroni and Cheese.”

Mom: “We’re having Spaghetti tonight. Maybe we’ll have Macaroni and Cheese tomorrow.”

Paul: “No, Mommy, this is how it works. I tell you what I want to eat, and then you cook it.”

The Perfect Age

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As we were driving to church the other day, I was struck by how perfect Paul’s age is right now. Although he sometimes has tantrums and he’s certainly opinionated, overall, it’s so delightful being his mother and seeing his blossoming into a human being, and not just a baby. I need to do a better job of recording the adorable and perfect age things Paul says and does. I am going to miss this age so very much!

Imagination

If he wants something, he simply creates it. He’s had a hard time grasping the concept of Christmas being a very long time from now. So instead he creates his own: “Did you know that tomorrow it is Christmas underground?” (His imaginary friends live underground.)

If I can’t play with him, suddenly the imaginary doorbell rings and there is an imaginary friend to play with him. And then there is the fact that he can create anything, you name it.

Games

Paul is in a serious board game streak right now. He loves them. He loves following rules and he loves making up rules. His turn usually takes him about five minutes, so I read a book waiting for my turn. Seriously. But he’s learning about taking turns, about winning and losing, and about counting and money (Monopoly). He loves to play games.

And the greatest thing is that he loves to make up games all the time. “Let’s race!” he says when it’s time to get dressed. “Let’s find shapes!” he said as we were driving to church. And when he said he saw “funny ovals” I was at a loss as to what he was talking about. “I see a lot of them!” he clarified. Cars, it turns out, are funny ovals.

Stories

Along with his great imagination comes his impressive ability to tell stories. I am reminded of my creative story writing when I was six and seven years old. Somehow, I lost that urge to write, to record creative inventions that I imagined in my mind. I hope I can nurture Paul’s story telling abilities so he doesn’t lose it. I’ll be so sad when he grows up too much for stories. I hope that never happens.

Learning

The other day, he brought me the guide book I had about NYC and said, “Mommy, this is about New York!” and I was amazed that not only could he read and understand it, but that he knows New York City is a place, that’s it’s far from here, that I went there. And I know most three year olds don’t read yet, but even without the reading, I love watching his discovery of new things. We’re learning about the moon and about outerspace this week and I love watching his fascination as we read a picture book.

Honesty and Sincerity

Sometimes I don’t appreciate his honesty. (“Yuck! I do not like this soup!”) But other times I find it so sweet.

“I love you,” I say.

“I already know that!” says Paul.

Elephant and Piggie

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New York was a wonderful trip. We had fun just being together, seeing the touristy things of the city like the Statue of Liberty, etc. I took lots of pictures but have not had a chance to look through them yet.

I went to a book expo, and it was okay. I don’t read a lot of modern fiction, and of course that was what it was about. I did enjoy meeting a number of picture book authors (although I missed meeting Mo Willems; I couldn’t get a ticket). I also did really enjoy the Book Blogger Convention. Notable authors I met include Katherine Paterson, Jan Brett, and Judy Schachner (Skippy Jon Jones).

One highlight of the week for me and for Paul was I got to meet a life-sized Elephant and Piggie. Apparently, Paul was telling all his preschool friends about them the next day (after I talked to him on the phone). They did not know what he was talking about.(Sorry, awful pictures, taken with my phone)

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We love Elephant and Piggie in our house. Perfect for a budding reader. Paul reads one of them (usually Gerald) and I read the other. Gerald always has more words because he is a worrier, but it’s amazing to me how much Paul is able to read.Our favorite of the 15+ books is We Are in a Book. I’m thinking I may need to track down a copy for our permanent collection.

Quick Update

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  • I did not forget my fifth wedding anniversary on Friday. Ryan worked at the temple until late. We’re celebrating starting tomorrow when we head to NYC together, sans Paul!
  • I’m working on scanning pictures and archiving them in a personal flickr account. If you befriend me on flickr (rebreidfamily) then you can see all the albums. I’m going to post some of the images on our new Family Gallery page, but most will, for privacy’s sake, be hidden to strangers. In honor of our wedding anniversary, see our Wedding Festivities page.

  • Paul is very excited to spend time with his friends (two nights) and with grandma (the rest of the week). He started packing a bag last week, but I’ve been trying to convince him it’s still too early to pack.
  • Paul’s imaginary friends are still around. They keep multiplying. One of his newest friends is Pinecone.
  • I took my first Karate belt test on Saturday night. If I passed, I’ll be a red belt. If I didn’t pass, I’m still a white belt. Either way, I’ve got to keep working out. My stomach is no longer satisfying to me.
  • For three days in New York, I will be attending Book Expo America and a Book Blogger Convention; I’ve been invited to be on a panel talking about special issues for bloggers writing about the classics. They have paid my way to the convention. Although I don’t read a lot of newly published literature, I’m still ridiculously excited.
  • Today was Paul’s last day of gymnastics class. We might do it again in the fall; I don’t know yet. Trust me, even though he’s getting lots of help in this video, he’s much improved.

Lucky Bookish Treasures

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When Grandma passed away, my mom gave each of her children a special something from Grandma. My item was a book published in 1852, the fourth edition of Young Ladies’ Oasis. This book is a collection of poetry, essays, and stories “appropriate” for young ladies.

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Today, I wanted to browse through it, and what did I find but what I’ve been looking for all my life: A lucky 4-leaf clover.

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Years ago, Mom told me a story. When she was a young girl, her Aunt Florence was sitting in their backyard when she said, “oh, I’ve found a four-leaf clover!” She was sitting in a patch of them. I have been looking for my own four-leaf clover since I first heard that story.

Apparently, Gram (Josie Lecta Dedman Wilson) took one of the clovers home and pressed it in this book of hers, which we assume she received from her mother (Dora May Allison Dedman).

I love how the clover has left a mark on the page. A shadow of that lucky day.

The clover is pressed between pages 192 and 193, in the midst of an essay called “Pretty Women.” It ponders pretty women throughout “history” (Rachel in the Bible, Helen of Troy, Cleopatra) and wonders why women today (1850s) aren’t using their good looks to their best advantage.

Every lady is at liberty to bring out her own ” good points” as she thinks best, and it is easy to do so, as well as to conceal her weak ones, without departing from the fashions that prevail.

One of the two of these ancestors of mine (probably not my grandma, Helen Wilson Benac, given the ageing), also left a few other treasures.

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This looks to me to have been embroidered with hair. But maybe I’m just wishing. It’s probably thread. I’ve always thought the embroidered-with-hair thing to be very cool, but my husband says that it is disgusting. Are you in the disgusting camp or the cool camp?

And then, someone enjoyed an autumn afternoon while reading Young Ladies’ Oasis. I love the dark spots on this leaf. I haven’t read this essay yet.

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Young Ladies’ Oasis is, of course, available online by now. Are you going to read it? I am. Not in the fourth edition, though. I’m going to read the ebook. The ten minutes I spent with it today have done far more damage to this family heirloom than I’d like to admit.

 

Reflections

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  • In Paul’s primary talk, he said, “Jesus rose for us.” He then, in a different context, saw the  picture of the Risen Lord appearing to Mary and said, “Look, Mommy! Jesus rose-ing!”
  • Normally during Sacrament Meeting, Paul sings “mah blah blah mah!” as loudly as he can in time with the music, as he or I points to the words on the page. Today, the speaker introduced the song, “Behold, the Great Redeemer Die!” Paul sang along with the correct words for the first two lines. I was amazed: he knows that song. I know that is because we go to church every Sunday.
  • Regularly, Paul stops playing to say, “Mommy, I say unto you, I love you!” This is how I know he really does hear the scripture study we do together, even though it seems he’s not paying attention.
  • Paul is regularly teaching me a lesson in humility and generosity, from his sharing his fruit snacks to his outpouring of love. From his example, I better understand the Savior’s injunction to be as a little child. I’m to approach life with sincerity, to love and give without thoughts of “scarcity” and selfishness, and to be honest in my thoughts, words and deeds. (Although I should mention that Paul has learned to lie, he is still for the most part a very truthful, loving, sensitive child.)

Paul’s First Primary Talk

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The subject Paul was given for his talk was “Jesus Christ is my Savior and Redeemer.” We got our favorite pictures of Jesus from the gospel art kit, Mommy put it in order, and to help herself, she wrote the words of Paul’s talk on a paper on the back. To her surprise, Paul was reading the words on the back. Here is Paul’s talk for Sunday.

We watched this video together and Paul said, “Mommy, I want to follow Jesus.” Yes, dear. I do too!