The Mother’s Way

I’ve wanted to be more “creative” lately, so I picked up a book of ideas, The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. I liked some of her suggestions, but others just weren’t right.

Her main premise is that creativity is God-given, and if we nurture ourselves, we will find it within us. That concept reminded me of Elder Uchtdorf’s talk at the Relief Society meeting:

The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul. No matter our talents, education, backgrounds, or abilities, we each have an inherent wish to create something that did not exist before.

Everyone can create. You don’t need money, position, or influence in order to create something of substance or beauty.

Creation brings deep satisfaction and fulfillment. We develop ourselves and others when we take unorganized matter into our hands and mold it into something of beauty .

Julia Cameron tells us that the key to career resiliency (that is, finding a creative career more suited to your creativity) is self-empowerment and choice. Since I stepped out of an office (my choice) to have my baby (also my choice) and I haven’t been back (still my choice), I pretty much chose my current career. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are made. Destiny is made known silently. Agnes de Mille (quoted on page 144)

Raising a family is my destiny.

I picked up this book at just the wrong time. She has good ideas, but I don’t have time for them. And some ideas really don’t seem all that good. She encourages readers to take the time to write 20 minutes in the morning pages, write another hour every day, and take a break every week for an artist’s date. Get a sitter now, stop serving other people, and serve yourself for once. If you don’t let yourself do these things, she suggests, you aren’t giving yourself the luxury you deserve.

Part way into this book, I realized why I was so bothered: My baby is my luxury. I waited my entire life to be a mother, and I have the blessing of staying home with my baby. It means I’m not going to write for an hour every day. Serving others, particularly my baby, is a great way that I feel spiritual; if I only served myself all the time, I’d feel very depressed. Life is about service to others!

Yet, I think she has good points for people trying to make creativity a career; you can’t make a career out of writing on the side. Toni Morrison (quoted on page 97) said:

We are traditionally rather proud of ourselves for having slipped creative work in there between the domestic chores and obligations. I’m not sure we deserve such big A-pluses for that.

I completely agree: I’ve been trying to slip in my creativity during the day. But that’s not how it’s done. If I’m serious about my writing, I must be serious when I write.

Cameron would probably suggest that I’m afraid to start being creative, so I’m using my baby as an excuse. Maybe I am afraid. But she does asks the reader to ponder what gives us true joy (page 110), and we are encouraged to pursue that thing. I realized that I already am pursuing it: my baby gives me true joy. Yes, it’s hard work to always watch him every day. No, there really isn’t any time off, although there are nap breaks most days. I suppose that to be truly creative, I can’t be a full-time, never-stop mom, as I am. But I don’t want to change that for any amount of creativity.

By reading The Artist’s Way, I’ve been inspired to seek moments of creativity. I won’t write a novel this month, but I’ll start writing the morning pages. I might not make a daily career of my writing, but I’ll do what I can on the side.

That’s not something to be proud of, but it’s what I can do now, in the midst of my dream career. And I can be proud of following “The Mother’s Way.”

4 thoughts on “The Mother’s Way”

  1. Mom

    Being a Mom does take a bit of creativity. My biggest creative moments came when doing the following:
    Helping kids write short stories for school
    Making Halloween costumes out of nothing
    Cooking dinner over 13,000 times
    Figuring out how to help kids with different personalities get along and be responsible citizens in the family
    Staying intellectually stimulated with three pre-schoolers and additional full-time babysitting in our home.  (Book club was my lifeline.)
    Making movies of family home evenings and tape recordings of dinner.
    Sewing everything from Girl Scout vests to YNS skirts to save $5.00 or $10.00.

    My children’s most creative moments were:
    Singing “It’s a Hard-knock Life” while cleaning the house
    Producing plays for the neighborhood
    Trading empty toilet paper tubes for chores
    Dropping the youngest down the clothes chute (which we never used for clothes)
    Filming movies on the trampoline (Sibling Off is still a best-seller.)
    Getting up in the middle of the night to secretly clean the basement
    Making and exploding bombs in the street
    Conducting summer olympics while dressed in nightgowns out in the front yard one Sunday morning while Mom and Dad were at ward correlation council (that must have been 20 years ago this summer)
    There are probalby other as-yet-undisclosed moments I will someday hear about.

    Big creativity kept us all smiling through everything.  Dad and I are finally able to laugh about the time we got crossed up on who was picking up which kids and no one fetched you from Sunshine Generation and we both went for Frank from his job.  🙂

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  2. Jenny

    I’m glad you are seeing the creativity and the joy in being a mother!

    Mom, You forgot to mention fashioning a 3-dimensional igloo out of sugar cubes at 11pm.

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  3. Rebecca Reid Post author

    Mom, yes, what a fun list of all the fun Paul will have! Oh to be a child! (although I’m not sure the making bombs in the street is something to be proud of these days for either parent or child….)

    Jenny, was that creativity or homework? Oh wait, I guess that’s the point, that homework can be fun too! Yes, I think motherhood has it’s moments and I just remember how glad I am to be a stay-at-home mom whenever I remember working full-time! This is so much better!

    Angela, I need to listen to it again! I thought it was great.

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