How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways.
I hate thee for the withheld taxes I want to spend
And for the forms that never end,
And for all the complications — I am dazed.
I hate thee for the time you take. For days
I agonize as I calculate, and the numbers blend:
I hate thee from the first line until the end.
I hate thee presently, as I long for May.
I hate thee sluggishly, for the work is so slow.
Finding an error-filled column again, I groan.
I hate thee with my mind, heart, and soul.
With my hard-earned money, I hate thee with a moan,
Tears, agony, the same each year! — and, yet I know,
I shall but hate thee less a refund sent.
Note: Unless your tax situation deals with capital gains, itemization, two workers, multiple states, multiple countries, new children, and the previous five years, I don’t want to hear about it!
P.S. My husband wonders if I have anything better to do than write pretty bad amateur poetry. Silly question!
Writing bad poetry is less self-destructive than eating chips, which is the way I usually delay unavoidable tasks. On the other hand, why _count_ the ways if you already have lots of numbers to deal with? Here’s my contribution:
My income taxes make me shriek.
The sums and edicts look like Greek.
The mess is growing every week,
And getting constantly more bleak.
And now I’m feeling up the creek;
My young son Paul may learn to speak
Before I’ve found the way to tweak
The answers I so duly seek.
If poetry can lead to peak
Resolve or even thoughts unique,
Your sympathy I hope to pique.
So kindly tolerate this leak
Of wildly animated Eeeeek!
Good luck. I have a dissertation to revise, and I just spent twenty minutes writing bad poetry instead.
*Resounding Applause* to both wonderful poets!
Here’s my contribution:
Epecting a refund
My taxes are Be-“done”-d
It’s already been spent
With quite a hefty dent
Four years we are exepmt
What rhymes with that? Unkempt.
Advice for you today:
Hire a CPA.
Actually, I was thinking of the CPA idea too. We have a good one that we recommended to Frank, and I think he likes him too. And
_he_ lives in the right country and knows all the tricks.
RE: Hire a CPA: See, I think I would, but I kind of live in the wrong country…