I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate.—Julia Child

Non-cooks think it’s silly to invest two hours’ work in two minutes’ enjoyment; but if cooking is evanescent, so is the ballet. —Julia Child

Despite my mother’s best intentions, I never really liked or learned to cook while I was in her household.

In college, I avoided cooking and lived on Rice-a-Roni, sugar cookies, and Life cereal for four years. (My roommates can attest to that.) It helped that I often didn’t notice when I was hungry and forgot to eat. When I first got married, I would kind of cook, but not really — just so my stomach was full, I didn’t care what went in it. My husband loves to cook and he’d do the cooking on the weekends. But when he was out of town, I was lucky if I didn’t just get McDonalds. We moved to Australia and suddenly I was not working, I had time and no more excuses. I felt my husband deserved a home-cooked meal each night. I found recipes and began cooking; “at least three times a week” was my goal. It was tedious, but I could do it.

At that point, I felt that if I tried something challenging, I would mess up and it would be a disaster — so why try the hard things? Besides, food will be gone in a few moments. Why put in effort to create something spectacular? As a result, I made “boring” dishes that I didn’t feel too proud of. I felt I needed to apologize before serving it. (I never heard a word of complaint; rather, my husband always said my food was wonderful.)

Then Paul was born. I felt somewhat out of control for a few weeks and I didn’t cook at all. Then, one day (Paul was probably two weeks old), I sat down and found a recipe, I got the ingredients, and I made some yummy food. It was so much fun. Since then, I’ve found that I love cooking! Yes, sometimes I really don’t feel like cooking and we do something easy or my husband cooks. But on most days, I’ve found I love the hour I have every evening to create a feast for my husband. I’m getting pretty good at timing it so it’s ready just as he’s walking in the door. And I love it.

I’ve been cooking any recipe that looks tasty. What’s the result of cooking any recipe? Plenty of “oops” meals, and plenty of learning. Some recipes take a lot of effort. Some work well and others don’t. And the food is gone in minutes or days if we’re lucky (leftovers are a good thing). I know more about technique and flavor pairing than I ever did before. I can critique my finished product and determine what is missing or overpowering in it. I can tweak a recipe as I cook to make it better.

I actually look forward to trying five or six new recipes next week.

I don’t know what changed, but there’s something satisfying I didn’t feel before. It feels great to welcome my husband home from work with a complete feast on the table. Cooking is fun. Sup-sup-suppertime really is the very best time of the day!