The Previous Chapters…

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When I mentioned to my friend that it is my birthday tomorrow, she asked me how old I will be. I had to think about it. (I’m going to be 28, I’ve decided.) It’s funny how as a child we count down the days to being “a year older!” and now it feels like a day older.

So now I’ve been thinking about “another year older.” As a result, I’ve been thinking of how my life has changed in the past decade – and the ways each chapter of my life has impacted who I am today. I’ve learned a lot, but each life chapter has had its own challenges.

Here are the titles and the abstracts of the last nine chapters of my life. I also included some “heart pictures” because I didn’t always have a photograph of most of these events.

Chapter 18 (1999): Escape

The chapter in which I jumped for joy when I discovered I could escape my dreary parent’s home earlier than I thought to go to BYU summer school at the same time as my “pen pal” boyfriend in Texas. Also, the chapter in which I made the greatest friends I have ever had. Also, the chapter in which I learned what it meant to have to “cook” myself dinner. (Thanks, Mom, for sending the meal card! I was hungry.)

Heart picture: Six girls dancing to music in our tiny Heritage Halls kitchen.

Chapter 19 (2000): Myself

The chapter in which I searched for myself spiritually (as a visitor of the BYU Jerusalem center in Jerusalem during Jubilee year), emotionally (as I accepted myself as myself), academically (as a beginning college student), and physically (as I searched for belonging in a campus of 30,000+ people).

Heart pictures: Seeing the old city of Jerusalem when I pause in my scripture study; also, listening to Handel’s Messiah from that same private balcony.

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The Old City, Jerusalem, taken by me

Chapter 20 (2001): Alone

The chapter in which I felt sad and alone as I immersed myself in schoolwork and sought for a place among five very different roommates.

Heart pictures (which I’d rather forget): Reading Juno email (the most annoying free email ever) at my computer, which was on a desk propped up by a cardboard box; also, watching the twin towers fall, wanting to cry, and wondering why my four European roommates asked me to turn off the TV.

Chapter 21 (2002): In Charge

The chapter in which perseverance provided rewards as I suddenly had three jobs and leadership positions and lots of responsibility and senior-year classes and lots of papers to write and roommates and friends who wanted to “hang out” and references and hopes for the future and a chance to live in Bolivia doing “service” for ten weeks.

Heart pictures: The Sigma Tau Delta logo, which organization seemed to dominate a good portion of my life; also, my first cell phone, which made life bearable (my five roommates never accurately took messages); also, the “Magnetic Meat Market” (i.e., the single’s ward phone/picture directory, attached to magnets) on our apartment door (so we could play match maker).

Chapter 22 (2003): Missionary

The chapter in which I forsook my new degree to serve 24-hours-day as a missionary (to mostly single students) in Seattle.

Heart pictures: Sharing the gospel with dozens of young students (actually at home!) after tracting through nine inches of snow on a day when school was cancelled.

Chapter 23 (2004): Recovery

The chapter in which I rejoined “society,” stopped reading the scriptures for an hour every morning, and re-learned that guys don’t want “handshakes” upon greeting and departure. Also the chapter in which I got my first salaried job.

Heart pictures: A singles ward “linger longer”; also, my first car, a 1991? white Ford Mercury.

Chapter 24 (2005): Single

The chapter in which I decided I had enough of singles wards and single guys and I decided to live life my way, like getting accepted into graduate school and traveling Europe with my friend. Also the chapter in which I happened to meet my husband (interesting how that happened…).

Heart Pictures: Seeing Paris from the top of the Eiffel Tower at night with Karen after not having slept since leaving Chicago and seeing the Louvre and taking a boat ride down the Seine.

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an out-of-focus view of the Seine from the Eiffel Tower at twilight

Chapter 25 (2006): Newlywed

The chapter in which I had an ideal 100-day engagement, to my coworkers’ amazement (apparently, that’s short). Also the chapter in which I had the most perfect wedding on the most perfect day in the most perfect temple (that’s the Chicago temple, in case you’re wondering) to the most perfect man. Also the chapter in which I drop out of grad school after one class and my new husband and I despair during the four days a week in which he travels.

Heart Pictures: Seeing my husband across the altar and realizing he’s mine for eternity.

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our perfect wedding day

Chapter 26 (2007): Mother

The chapter in which I spent the entire (almost) year pregnant, I quit my job, and I moved to Australia. Also the chapter in which I didn’t die in childbirth and Paul was born, finally, even without pain medication. Also the chapter in which I got very little sleep at the end.

Heart Pictures: Feeling the baby kick on Mother’s day; also, the first moment I saw and held Paul, a squirming, slippery, messy, skinny bit of perfection.

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Paul's first picture, 2 hours old

Chapter 27 (2008): Ex Pat

The chapter in which I loved living in Australia and touring Australia and New Zealand and yet began to eagerly await our return to America. Also the chapter in which I struggled to distinguish nickels from quarters upon our eventual return stateside.

Heart pictures: Traveling through New Zealand with an 8-month-old in a backpack; also, business class on an 18-hour flight (thanks to my husband’s company!).

Chapter 28 (2009):  ?

What will define this year in my life? I guess only time will tell.

As I look back on these past years, I know that the most wonderful “heart pictures” of all of these are the ones with my husband and my baby. That’s what I want to remember this year for.

The Reunion

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“Ascension” Short Fiction Contest

also posted here

“Hey, there’s Daddy!” She tugged my arm.

I saw his head first. His right arm rested on the railing, calm, waiting. No pressure, no anxiety.

I exhaled.

One foot before the other and he was before me.  I tried to focus on his eyes, his face. I searched for words to speak.

“Hi.” His body leaned toward mine and I felt his kiss on my forehead. His arm grasped my shoulder and then he released me.

“Hi.”

The child was chattering. And bouncing around us. His free arm rested on her shoulder. We walked. People bumped me as they passed.

I heard him speak. First to our girl. Then to a man near us as we reached for the suitcase.

We walked again. I stopped and zipped the girl’s coat, despite her protests.  And then he was driving and she was babbling about princesses. I sat beside him.

A right turn. A stop sign. The highway. We were moving. He grasped my hand. He wouldn’t let go.

“I …” I couldn’t speak; I was dry. I had done my crying alone when I realized the baby was lost.

He glanced at me, and I saw his eyes were wet.  He spoke, the corners of his mouth turned in a half-smile.

“I love you.”

The flood overwhelmed me as it had two nights before. But this time I was hopeful, for we could still go on.

Overheard

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Woman 1: “…So the light was yellow when I started and it only turned red after I was in the intersection. And the traffic camera says I ran a red light! Can you believe it?!?!”

Woman 2: “That’s crazy! How can that be running a red light?  But really, I have the right to run a red light if I want to. That’s so wrong for them to use a camera to tell me I can’t!”

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I’m sorry I’ve been absent. There are many things on my mind, and I don’t want to jinx any of them. Let me just say a “GOOD THING” is coming. Or will be coming. Or might be coming. Or hopefully is coming.

The Best Writer Since Lincoln?

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I’m quite intrigued by this Wall Street Journal article about the legacy of presidential writing. In it, Jonathon Raban compares Obama’s writing skills to Lincoln’s, and the power that good writing can give to a presidency.

I have not read Obama’s memoirs, nor have I studied Abraham Lincoln’s speeches, both of which I’d like to read and study. But I certainly appreciated this particular author’s insights into leaders and their writing.

I really enjoyed studying Churchill’s speeches last year.

What governmental leaders have impressed you with their writing?

A Second Belated Update

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Paul can sign. It’s fun to watch the comprehension as I teach him a new sign. He’s always known More and Milk, but he’s added banana, bread, and water. Now he babbles in sign — he thinks he’s telling me something. He babbles in “giggle-giggle” too. “Giggle-giggle” is Paul’s normal language because he thinks he can talk and yet everything he says sounds like “giggle” or “gaggle” or something similar. In this video, he’s eating and signing banana.

Paul feeds himself. I love this stage, and yet I hate it. It’s nice to be able to eat my own lunch, but sometimes it get a bit messy by the time Paul is done eating. Plus, he takes forever.

Paul’s also getting better at going down and up stairs and he’s a pretty competent walker by now. He’s still happy just about all the time (except when he has the 24-hour flu or when he’s congested, as he was a Christmas). What a delight he is in our lives!

Compare these videos with the pictures I found yesterday. What a difference!

A Much Belated Paul Update

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I’ve somehow completely neglected to tell about Paul’s second Christmas. On my webpage, I’ve already posted the extend family pictures and about the great times we spent together. I should add that Paul loved the wrapping paper. For the first few presents, he was so excited to get to throw out the wrappings that he didn’t notice the toy underneath it! It was fun to be so close to family and to be able to visit with them.

He was, unfortunately, quite sick Christmas Eve. He was up from 1 til 2 and finally settled back to sleep. But his cold was not his friend!

Since I’ve given an update, he’s learned a lot and grown into quite a little boy.

First, thanks to Sandra Boynton’s Horns to Toes and In Between, he knows the location of his head, ears, toes, belly button, and eyes (which he likes to cover because that’s what I do when I read him the book). His favorite is his head. In this video, I am not pointing…

Also, Paul likes to dance. Always.

Paul loves ring-a-round-the-rosies. But forget about the ring. Let’s just fall down!

More in the next post!