- “Let’s go to lunch next week instead of this week.” I say to my friend. “Or we could go the week after that if it’s better.”
- Why don’t we invite our visiting teaching sisters for lunch next month? This month is so busy.”
- “Oh, I’ll read that book later,” I tell myself. “I can always renew it.”
- “I’ll do a major pantry clean out next month,” I tell myself.
- “We’ll go to the temple next Saturday.”
- “I’ll take my Sunday School class members treats next week.”
- “We can always see New Zealand on the next family vacation. Let’s just take a short trip this time.”
- “No, we’ll go see Tasmania next month. Let’s stay home this weekend.”
And then we get a call: We want you to come to a new assignment in three weeks. In New Jersey. Nothing for certain yet, but will you plan for it?
Obviously, three weeks is impossible for an international move. But all of a sudden, the next weeks are limited; the next months are gone.
Last June, we entered Australia on a three-year visa. The project’s paperwork said through “September 2008,” but we hoped for two full years. I figured I’d have a walking and talking little boy. I figured we’d have visited all of Victoria and parts of Tasmania and New Zealand and maybe Sydney and the Gold Coast and maybe Ayers Rock. I figured our savings account would have grown (although those two dreams don’t really follow, a girl can dream!). I figured the housing market wasn’t going to tank and that the dollar would be worth a little more when we transferred our money back. I figured I had more time before I had to move my home across the globe again. I figured I could enjoy being cozy in our new home.
Of course, I am excited to be near family again, within a four-hour flight of both sets of my baby’s grandparents and all of my baby’s aunts and uncles. I’m excited to be able to get more variety in terms of consumer goods. I’m excited that things will cost less (relatively). I’m excited to choose a new car for myself. I’m excited to re-enter summer. I’m excited I might be able to go to my friend’s wedding in August. I’m excited that my family might actually call me when my phone number isn’t international. I’m excited that I don’t have to wonder how long we’ll be here (things have been a question mark for a few months).
But now I realize I have to start all over again: the third home and the third ward and the third search for friends in two years of marriage.
I’m realizing now that I shouldn’t have procrastinated being a friend. I shouldn’t have procrastinated making home cozy for my family. The end can, and does, come at any time.
What are you procrastinating? What “end” do you dread (and/or hope for at the same time)?
I’m glad I’m not procrastinating potty training, because I want it done with. I keep procrastinating being happy: “When we have a minivan, I’ll be happy”…”When it warms up I’ll be happy”…”When I finally clean my house I’ll be happy.” I guess that’s classic “Grass is always greener on the other side” syndrome.
I’m excited that you are coming back to the states soon, but I feel your anxiety and uncertainty over moving internationally again. I’ll be better at calling more often–It’s only 5 cents a minute.
Seriously! I look back and see things I would have liked to do differently. When we were in Japan we never went to the early morning fish market (which is supposed to be really cool) because I thought we could do it another morning–I was too tired the night before and didn’t want to wake early. We’re talking 7 times, we had 7 mornings get up and go! Unfortunately, we never went and that’s the one thing in particular I keep thinking about that we missed in Japan. So I am trying to make the most of the few weekends we’ve got left here. But that is a good point, you never know when something might change. In your case, you get to start over but for some people, their lives might be altered suddenly and tragically.  I am still working on it but I admire those who seem to live each day to the fullest and kindest.
You’re bringing back lots of great landscape pics. from short trips, a stronger family identity, and a cute baby, so don’t beat yourself up too much. Sorry you’re feeling neglected. I’ve neglected everyone here too, because I have NOT procrastinated working on my dissertation. Perhaps if I can finish in the next couple of months, I can then give my full attention to family and friends. There is only so much that fits on the plate at once. I’ll try to call more. WE really do love you. Mom
I totally get why you would be so happy and a little sad about that. What an adventure you’re on right now! And even if you’re exhausted at the end of a grand trip/adventure – you’re always ready to go “home” at the end. Think of Elder Ballard’s advice in his talk on Mothers in the last conference – enjoy the “doing it” more than the “getting it done”.Â
We heard the great news from your mom! It will be great to have you back home. What a great adventure you have had. Your little Paul will be able to grow up with family nearby. Hope to see you when you return.
Yes, it will be good to be “back”, although I’m not calling it “great news” yet simply because I still feel like I’m leaving “home”. I’m getting more ready as we go, but the date is still tentative. Once we get settled somewhere, then it might feel like we’ve finally come to the end of a long trip. Right now, I feel as if I will be leaving my comfortable home for months of in-between. We’ll see how it goes. Thanks for all of your comments!
Wow-that is a major change, majorly fast! Is it for sure?
@Jenny: I’ve found I do the same thing with “happiness”. I’m learning I’ll never be happy unless I just decide I’m happy. @Eve: That’s what I need to learn how to do, live each day to the fullest. I’ll get better. That’s why we have 80+ years to figure it out, right? @Mom: I know I’m taking a lot back; I wouldn’t change this chance to be here for anything. It has been the right thing for our family. @Nancy: that’s exactly right–the “doing” is what life’s all about. @angela michelle: We’re for sure going back–the only unsure thing is when. Thankfully, the company does most of the moving work for us…